


My Only Light

by RestedAbandon



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, POV Alternating, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-11-24 18:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 40,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20912147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestedAbandon/pseuds/RestedAbandon
Summary: Jaime and Brienne are loners, one by choice, and the other, due to life's cruel circumstances. They both plan to stay that way. However, sometimes life has other plans.





	1. Chapter 1

Jaime was looking at his phone when he heard the rumble of wheels on the pavement a few feet to his right. The lights in the parking lot had just come on. He could see that a very tall guy in black pants and a black hoodie was pushing off on his skateboard through the lot and towards the campus library steps. Once he got to the top of the twenty or so steps, he pushed off on his skateboard, jumped, and sailed down the handicap access ramp rails at breakneck speed. Then, he jumped off the rail and flipped his board three times in the air before landing on it. 

_No fucking way._

The skater went off the rails ten more times. Jaime couldn’t look away. He was mesmerized by the guy’s sheer skill and speed. Sometimes, the dude would vary up on the jump tricks. On one of the last jumps, he managed to get enough air to twist his body one full rotation before landing on the board.

_This guy’s really good._

The skater’s luck ran out on the last jump though. He was attempting a sideways jump off his board when he miscalculated and came crashing down on the pavement with a clatter and heavy thump. His head hit the pavement and he wasn’t moving.

_Shit!_

Jaime shot to his feet and ran over. He kneeled over the guy and shook him on the shoulder gently. “Hey, are you alright? Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

The stranger groaned and lifted his head slowly, pushing off of the ground with his elbows. “Uh….No, I think I’m alright.”

This guy had a decidedly feminine voice. _Weird. _Then, he looked up at him and the hoodie slipped a bit off his face.

“Wait, are you a woman?” Jaime had never seen an uglier woman in his life. Her nose had clearly been broken at least twice. Her lips were too big for her face and they barely covered her horsey teeth. The eyes though, her eyes were the richest and most sparkling color blue he had ever seen. Her eyes were extraordinary.

“Yup. Last time I checked.” Her tone was clipped but almost bored, like she was used to answering that question all the time.

“You got a nasty bump and scrape there. I should call you an ambulance. You probably have a concussion…”

“I said I was fine. I’ve had worse.” Then, she stood up and almost lost her balance. Her hand shot out.

Jaime grabbed it to steady her. “Whoa, there…” He felt a jolt of electricity where her warm fingers brushed his palm.

She pulled it back out of his hand with startled eyes. “I’ve got it.”

“Are you always this fucking stubborn, Wheels?” Jaime grinned at her with a huff.

“Wheels? Real cute.” She grabbed her board and started climbing up the steps again.

“You’re going again?” He felt oddly protective of this stubborn, cantankerous, and absolutely gigantic woman. She ignored him and started pushing off on her board again. _Stubborn fool._ He stood directly in front of her so she had to come up short and stop. She got off her board and leaned in to stare him down. Her beautiful eyes flashed. Her face was flushed a crimson red.

“What’s your problem? Get out of my way!” He could tell she was getting very annoyed with him but her anger seemed amusing somehow. This level of amusement was more than he had felt in a long time

When she saw that Jaime wouldn’t budge, and was obviously getting a kick out of riling her up, she huffed, “Look, I’ve got a competition tomorrow. Please, get out of my way.”

The beep of a car horn in the parking lot startled them. Jaime turned around to see that his ride had pulled up. He was about to head towards the car when curiosity got the best of him.

“Hey, what’s your name, Wheels?”

“None of your damn business, GQ.” This made Jaime laugh out loud.

“Alright, just don’t die out here, Wheels.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, GQ.” The grin that had been plastered on his face for the past five minutes grew exponentially wider.

* * *

It was a Friday night and Jaime was hiding out, once again, in the campus library. Addam had invited him to go to a party with his old football teammates, but he just wasn’t up to facing them yet. Ever since his hand had been crushed by that sociopath, Hoat, on the field last year, Jaime felt that nothing would ever be the same. Physical therapy had helped him recover about 65 percent of his old range of motion but he was definitely never playing football again. And football had been his life. A creeping sort of numbness had pervaded his entire being ever since the day the surgeon had told him that his right wrist was basically useless. He hadn’t felt like socializing. He hadn’t felt like working out. Some days, he didn’t even feel like getting out of bed.

This is the best he could do. Get up. Force himself to go for a run. Go to class. Force himself to take notes. Go to the library. Force himself to read the notes. Hope to graduate on time. Get a boring job at his dad’s management office. Eventually, die of boredom. Jaime Lannister ex-football player, currently: a lifeless robot.

He looked at his cellphone for the tenth time, sighed, and attempted to reread his Macroeconomics notes for the third time that evening. The fact that his dyslexia made reading an incredibly slow endeavor, only added to his deep-rooted constant state of irritation, and current state of lassitude.

He was twirling his pencil absently on the table in front of him, when he heard someone come into the study zone. It was a very tall person wearing black ripped jeans, a black hoodie, and a dark blue beanie cap.

_Wheels?_

Her face looked flushed, like she had been running. She ripped her beanie cap off, revealing a mop of blonde pixie cut hair that had been shaved in the back. She unzipped her hoodie to reveal the most impressive biceps and shoulders he had ever seen, on a male or female, which were on full display in the overly big blue tank top she wore. Her boobs would be showing out of the sides, if she’d had any. Instead, he got a glimpse of a black sports bra underneath, as she bent over to put her backpack on the floor. Her ripped jeans were baggy, but they were riding low, and only being held on by a heavily studded black belt.

She sat down and opened up her backpack. He could not have been more surprised, when she pulled out not just one, but three, Jane Austen novels. She opened one up and started to read. He caught a flash of a Blue Crescent Moon and Yellow Sun tattoo on her inner wrist.

As if she could feel him staring at her, she looked up from her book. He caught a glimpse of recognition in her eyes, before she lifted up her copy of “Persuasion”, and tried to hide behind it.

Jaime cleared his throat and busied himself trying to reread his notes, once again, when he heard more footsteps come into the study zone.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the freak! Look Hyle, it’s Beauty. You remember Beauty, right?” A redheaded guy had approached Wheel’s table with a dark haired guy, who could not have been more average and nondescript if he were a cardboard box.

“Oh yeah. Hey Beauty. Can we sit here with you?” Hyle was standing way too close and leering down at her.

Suddenly, Jaime’s right wrist started to ache, the way it always did when he was really tensed up or making a tight fist, which in this case, were both true.

Wheels didn’t even look up. She just buried her nose deeper into the book. The redhead took this as an invitation to harass her further and plucked the book out of her hands. “Whatcha reading? Oh, you like romance novels? That’s hilarious! I guess this is the only action you’re ever going to see with a face like that _Beauty_.”

The other Neanderthal chimed in, “Yeah _Beauty_, you should have let me fuck you back in high school. Now, you’re just gonna end up being a virgin forever.”

Jaime could feel his heart beating faster and his breathing slow down, the way it always did before a fight.

“I don’t know how you even considered that Hyle. No amount of money could ever tempt me to touch this beast. She probably smells like rancid fish down there. Is your cunt as ugly as your face _Beauty_?”

Hyle started laughing at that and pulled her chair back a little. “Ron, I think she should show us. Maybe, it’s her best feature” He looked down at Wheels with a sneer and pulled her chair further out. “I mean, I might still fuck you if you put a bag over your…”

With that, Jaime shot up out of his chair and practically jumped over his table before yanking Hyle back by the collar of his sweater. “That’s enough. Don’t you dare touch her.” He shoved Hyle’s chest hard and sent him crashing to the ground.

The redhead backed up a pace but still had the bravado to say, “Who’s this? Is this your girlfriend? She sure is pretty enough…” To which Jaime responded by clocking him right in the nose, sending a spray of blood onto Jaime’s hand and jacket.

“I suggest you get the fuck out of here. NOW!”

Hyle crawled away a few feet before jumping up and running up the stairs. Ron followed, holding his bloody nose, which appeared to be spewing a river of blood down his forearm. 

Jaime was still breathing hard, and his right hand was in agony, when he turned around. Wheels had gotten up and was shoving her books back into her backpack. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I can defend myself, you know. You keep trying to come in and rescue me, but I don’t need you. As you can see, I’m big enough to handle things for myself. If I had wanted to beat those assholes senseless, I would have done it the minute I saw them walk in.”

Jaime's aching hand and already flaring temper was making him reach a whole new zenith of fury. “What is your PROBLEM? This isn’t some feminist bullshit is it? Or do you just hate all men?”

When she wouldn’t answer him, or even look at him, his blood boiled over and he felt like ripping her throat out. “You probably do hate all men. Do they repulse you? Are you a lesbian, is that it?”

She actually barked a laugh at him and looked him up and down, slowly. Then, staring at him with those startling blue eyes, she said, “Unfortunately, no.”

He felt heat pooling in his stomach and a zing of desire shot through him.

_FUCK_

Then, she pulled on her hoodie and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Brienne felt a niggling speck of guilt in the pit of her stomach over how she had treated GQ, and she absolutely hated it. He’d basically told her that she looked like a man, accused her of hating all men, asked her if she was a lesbian, and expected to be given a medal for rescuing her from situations she could have easily handled on her own. He was a walking typical misogynistic dude-bro trope. Yet, the fact that he had cared to intervene at all, and she hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge his obviously well-intentioned efforts, was probably pretty shitty of her.

_Great, now I feel like an asshole._

If only he hadn’t been so damned pushy, cock-sure, and drop-dead gorgeous, maybe then, she would have taken his interventions with better grace. She remembered the shit-eating grin he had given her that first night, when he was practically laughing at her, and her stomach tightened.

_Ugh, whatever._

She started running faster in order to exercise the guilt right out of her system. Thinking about green-eyed, golden- haired, plump-lipped, and sharply-chisel-jawed men was very dangerous. They belonged in the file marked “avoid at all costs” in her head. So, that’s exactly what she intended to do.

However, intentions and carefully laid plans are damned in the eyes of the gods, for there he was, jogging in place waiting for the light to change as she approached. When he saw her, his eyes flashed momentarily, and his brows creased, before he looked straight ahead and pretended she didn’t exist.

_Fine by me, GQ._

She also stared straight ahead, waiting for the world’s longest traffic light to change, but she could just _feel _him jogging there next to her. His shoulder was practically touching hers when he raced past her as soon as the light changed.

She picked up the pace and easily surpassed him. Then, she saw him coming up on her left, swinging his arms like he was slicing through the air with them.

_Oh, you want to race, huh? Ok, GQ, let’s race._

She opened up her stride and felt the full power of her legs as she lunged up the hill. She tightened her core muscles and took deep reaching breaths that she pictured expanding her lungs and oxygenating all of her muscles, just like her track coach in high school had taught her to do. She felt like she was flying when she started going downhill. GQ was no longer beside her but she knew he was not too far behind. So, she opened up her stride a fraction more and used her arms to propel her forwards, faster, faster, and faster still, until she saw the world zoom by her in a blur of trees, bushes, and street signs. Adrenaline was coursing through her and she could not remember having felt this alive in a long time.

Finally, after she had decided that she had proven her point, she slowed down the pace so she could cool down. She took deep calming breaths and stopped to stretch. It was only then, that she could see that GQ was coming up behind her, huffing and puffing like he was about to keel over.

Then, about a foot short of where she was standing, he literally keeled over. GQ dropped down into the grass, clutching his side, and moaned like a dying animal.

‘Fuck, you’re fast. Fuck. Dying. I’m dying.”, he huffed breathlessly. Then, he started laughing, like a gods-damned lunatic.

“Are you ok?” She looked at him like he might be broken.

“Fantastic. Never better.” He was still working hard to catch his breath. He struggled to prop himself up on his elbows. He turned to look at her and let his eyes roam over her body, starting slowly up her legs, to her face, and then slowly back down again.

Feeling very self-conscience under his close scrutiny, she pulled down on the cutoff shorts she had decided to wear over her camouflage leggings. He was still staring when she heard him chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about the thorough ass kicking you could give someone with those legs. Legs, that’s a better name for you than wheels. Henceforth, you shall be known as Legs.” He was smiling at her again with that movie-star smile that made her stomach do wild little flips. His red athletic T was plastered to him and his gym shorts had ridden up, all to reveal a sinfully toned body.

“I think I prefer Wheels. Don’t die out here, GQ.” She gave him a little dismissive wave and headed back towards the dorm to shower.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Legs. See you tomorrow morning. Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re not a lesbian.” 

Without stopping to turn around, she shot her middle finger up at him, but she could feel the corners of her treacherous mouth pulling up, unbidden.

She thought she heard him laugh, again.


	3. Chapter 3

Standing around the corner from where they had met, precisely thirty minutes earlier than last time, Jaime waited for Legs the next morning, but she never came. Once he realized she was not going to show up, he felt, what can only be described as, acute disappointment. The little spark that had made it easier to get up and out of bed this morning was gone. Jaime sighed and ran his usual route without her. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted from her really. He only knew that he felt alive when he was around her and he was chasing that feeling like a drug addict chases his next fix.

Tyrion had called him last night and had given him his usual speech about the importance of finding things that made him happy. He’d gone on and on about how football was not the only thing in the world out there that could make him content. Except, Tyrion didn’t know, couldn’t possibly understand, that football had been the only pure thing, in the whole world, that he had wanted, and attained, solely because it brought him joy. It was the one shining beacon in a lifetime of sadness, loss, verbal abuse, emotional neglect and manipulation, and lastly, heartbreak.

Cersei, he had once believed, held a special and incorruptible place in his heart, except, that that had been a delusion. Everything he believed about her and their relationship had been a lie. The crippling loss of his career, superseded only by her earlier rejection and betrayal, had left a gaping hole in his life that nothing could possibly fill. He felt like an unmoored ship out in a turbulent sea.

He hadn’t realized how badly he had needed to find an anchor, to hold onto something, anything, that made him feel less numb. He supposed that’s why, without thinking much about it, he had found himself sitting on the campus library steps that evening, hoping to see her again.

When the parking lot lights came on, he heard her wheels on the pavement. She was wearing her blue beanie, black skinny jeans with holes cut out in the knees, an unbuttoned blue and black flannel shirt that revealed a black camisole underneath when the wind flapped it open, and a pair of beat-up black Chuck Taylors. 

He watched her from the top step, near the handicap access ramp he thought she would be practicing on, but instead, she headed toward the right side of the building and climbed the eighteen steps to the top (which he had totally _not_ counted). She was apparently not going down the rails at all today. Legs went full-speed towards the steps themselves. When she got close to the edge of the top step, she jumped and flew into the air, sailing over all eighteen steps, landing with a loud bang at the bottom, and rolling to a stop.

Jaime had been holding his breath the minute her wheels left the concrete precipice and he didn’t inhale until they safely landed on the pavement beneath.

_She’s insane! _

Once more, he sat mesmerized as she jumped again and again. She fell a couple of times, but just rolled out of it, and got up to try anew. He had never seen anything like her. Legs was fearless in a way that made him want to go buy her a helmet and knee pads, but also made his hands sweat a little, and his heart beat wildly in exhilaration.

Finally, many jumps later, she ambled over to the handicap access ramp where he sat.

“Hey.” He said with a little wave.

“Hey. I thought that might be you. You stalking me, GQ?” She didn’t look nearly as annoyed as she wanted to sound.

“Nope. Just wanted to ask you why you stood me up this morning.”

“Oh, I ran a different route. I don’t always run the same one. Gets boring. Didn’t think you were serious about meeting up.” She was distractedly pushing her board back and forth with one foot. 

“Oh. Yeah, I usually mean what I say but you wouldn’t know that. Guess you get a lot of jerks yanking your chain?”

“Something like that.” She was looking away from him.

“You’re really good you know. I’ve never seen anybody do what you do.”

“You know many skaters, GQ?” Her tone was skeptical.

“No. But I know insane talent when I see it. And, you are definitely insane.”

“Thanks. I’ll add it to your list of insults.” Her tone was clipped.

“You’re keeping a list? I’m touched.” He could feel himself grinning like a fool.

“Only so that I have evidence to show the judge when I get that restraining order against your stalker ass.” She was definitely not as annoyed as she wanted to appear. He could see one corner of her mouth pulling up a little. “Don’t you have keggers and frat orgies to attend or something?”

“Not my thing. It’s cute that you presume to know me though.”

“I know your type.” She was looking at him with steely cold blue eyes, and for the first time that evening, he felt himself get angry.

“My type? What does that mean?”

She huffed, “You know what it means. Men like you.”

“There are no men like me. Only me. If I have a type, I don’t know what it is!” His voice was laced with contempt.

“Really? So, you’re not rich, into sports…like football, attracted to breath-taking blondes, and amused by freakishly tall skater chics that you would never dare bring to one of your tailgate parties?” She was staring intently at him and her face was flushed, which made her freckles stand out and her eyes blaze.

“That’s a nice, poorly skimmed, Cliff’s Note’s version of my life you got there. What about you Legs? You always push people away before they can get too close because some assholes in school called you ugly? You jump over rails, and a stupid amount of steps, because deep down you are looking for something to make you feel alive in an empty life devoid of meaningful human interaction?”

“Fuck you!” She spat at him.

“Promise?” He could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“Oh yeah, right. Ok, sure. Let’s go GQ. Right here, come on.” She started pulling off her flannel shirt.

His stomach swooped but he called her bluff. “Cool.” and yanked off his letterman’s jacket.

_She’s insane and she makes me insane when I’m around her._

Legs looked at him with startled eyes. “You’d love that wouldn’t you? To tell all your jock friends how you fucked the freak on the campus library steps?” Her voice cracked a little.

That sound in her voice made him instantly deflate. “Look, I don’t know what it is about me that offends you. I’m sorry I came.” She looked even more offended for some reason.

He tried again. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I’ll leave now. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you again. I just thought you and I had something in common, seeing as how we are always alone in or around this damn library.”

He put his jacket back on and looked into her sad eyes. “Bye Legs.” Jaime turned to walk away.

“Brienne, my name is Brienne.”

He turned back around and smiled. “Hi, Brienne. My name is Jaime.“

And for the first time, in all of their ridiculous encounters, she smiled, a sweet shy smile that took his breath away.


	4. Chapter 4

Brienne decided to take her normal running route the next morning. When she approached the intersection of Weirwood Circle and Blackwater Blvd, he was there, just like she thought he might be. Jaime stretched and gave her a nod as she got closer.

This time, he didn’t try to pass her. He stayed to her right and kept up the pace. This time, she didn't try to outrun him, she actually slowed down a bit when she saw that he’d lagged behind.

“Oh no, Legs. Don’t go pitying me. I like the challenge.” Jaime gave her a sideways smirk. “Just do what you normally do.”

Brienne replied with a sharp nod and picked up the pace. He was breathing in and exhaling deeply, but he didn't complain. When she picked up the pace for a second time, she could hear that Jaime’s breathing had definitely become labored, but he still didn't say a word. A tickle of something wicked at the sight of his efforts to stoically keep up prompted her to say, “Want to race to that tree?”

Sweat was pouring down his face but his smile was bright when he managed to gasp out, “Absolutely!”

This time, when she tried to zoom past him, he stayed only two or three paces behind her. The effort to stay ahead made her lose focus and she knew she was not breathing the way she should.

Brienne touched the tree first and he almost crashed into her a few moments later. Jaime leaned heavily on the tree trunk making “Hooo, hooo” sounds, and he looked like he might vomit when he doubled over, taking huge gasps of air.

Her breathing was a bit more haggard than usual but she felt herself recovering quickly when she asked, “You ok?”

“I’ll let you know, as soon as I decide whether or not I’m having a heart attack.” He plopped himself down on the ground and put his left arm over his eyes. “You’re a machine.”

Several minutes later, he made a disgruntled noise deep in his chest, and pulled his arm away to look up at her. “You’re not even breathing hard! I need an ambulance and you’re calmly doing yoga, or some shit, over there.”

Brienne rolled her eyes at him. “I did track in high school.” As if that were more than enough to explain away her incredible speed and stamina. “You made me work for it today, though.”

“That was you working for it?” Jaime had sat up and was picking at the grass. “I’ve been running since I was fifteen, when I joined the football team in High School, and I’ve never been able to run like that.”

Heat was burning her cheeks at the compliment. “It’s really no big deal.”

“The fact that you say it like that only makes my crushing defeat worse. I guess I’m just going to have to keep working at it.” He brushed off his backside and looked at her pointedly. “I’m determined now.” Giving her a little wave and sauntering away he said, “See you again tomorrow, Legs.”

* * *

It was in this way that Brienne found herself running with him every morning. Every morning they would race at the end of their run, and she would beat him, every time. He always pretended to be slightly humiliated. However, she could tell that he was proud of himself for recovering faster each time, and just being able to keep up, no matter how hard she pushed.

Somehow, Brienne also found herself agreeing to study with him that Friday evening. It’s not like she really had anything better to do anyway.

Brienne got to the King’s Landing University library study area before he did, and chose a table with four chairs, so that they could spread out their materials and be comfortable. He strode in wearing his emerald green and white letterman’s jacket, which complimented his green eyes perfectly. The smile on his face was wide enough to bring out the small dimple in his right cheek. In reply, the butterflies in her stomach did a little dance, the way they always did when he smiled at her like that.

Jaime chose to sit in the seat directly in front of her. His voice was low as he whispered, “Hey, Legs. What you got there?”

“A novel called ‘A Wide Sargasso Sea’, it’s for my Women in Literature class.”

“Ah, are you an English Lit major?” He was looking at her curiously.

“Yeah, I’ve always loved to read, especially classics.”

“Hmmm. Cool.” He looked uncomfortable for some unidentifiable reason.

“What’s up?”

“I wish I was half as excited about my major as you are about yours. My dad wants me to major in Business Administration. I hate it, but there’s not much I can do. He has my whole life mapped out for me.” He was frowning and practically slammed his notebook on the table.

“Your dad sounds overbearing.” Brienne tried to be careful not to insult his dad.

“That is an understatement. Tywin Lannister cannot be opposed. He just won’t stand for it.”

_Holy shit!_

“Thee Tywin Lannister? The one who owns half of Westeros?”

“Yup, that’s the one.”

“I’ve heard he’s really intimidating. Must be nice to have all that money, though.” She suddenly felt very small and inadequate sitting next to this man who had never known what it was like to worry about money a day in his life.

Jaime looked up at her from his notebook with searching eyes. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a spoiled rich kid. It’s just that the pressure to succeed is suffocating sometimes. And, it seems no matter how hard I try, nothing I do is good enough. I am the stupidest Lannister.” He must not have liked something he saw in her eyes because he cleared his throat and looked away. “Enough about me though. What does your dad do?”

“Oh, he used to own fishing vessels back home.” She tried to keep her tone casual.

“Back home?”

“I’m from Tarth.”

“So, what happened?” His eyes were piercing and intently hanging on her every word.

“He had a stroke a few years ago, before I started University. He’s in a nursing home now, back in Tarth. I try to go and see him as often as I can, but it’s not easy. I would have stayed closer to home but King’s Landing offered me a full scholarship that I just couldn’t turn down.”

“What about your mom? Do you have siblings?”

“My mom is dead. Her and Galladon, my older brother, died when I was young. She died in childbirth and Galladon got caught in a rip current and drowned.” The words strangled her.

She saw him reach out his hand a little but then stopped short. “My mom died in childbirth too. I barely remember her but I miss her presence anyway. If you know what I mean...”

“I do.” Loss and deep sorrow hung in the air like a thick fog.

Brienne was the first to look away. She opened up her book and found herself reading the same paragraph, over and over, because the smell of his aftershave and the sounds of his fingers flipping the pages of his notebook had to be the most distracting thing she had ever experienced in her entire life.

Jaime appeared to be having trouble concentrating too because he went over the same pages of notes several times.

* * *

It wasn’t until their fourth such study session that Brienne realized Jaime was having _a lot_ of trouble concentrating on his notes.

“Tough class?” Brienne finally asked one evening.

“I can keep up in class. I just have the hardest time making heads or tails of these notes sometimes.” Jaime was trying to be flippant but he was wiggling uncomfortably in his seat.

“Oh, yeah. I know what you mean. I don’t even know half of what I write down in class. Knowing what to write as you’re trying to pay attention is really difficult.” Brienne actually had no idea where she had come up with that bold face lie. She’d always been an excellent note taker.

“Really? Your notes always look so organized, color-coded and everything.” _He noticed that? Shit._

“Well, I’ve gotten better over time. Do you want me to teach you some of my techniques?”

His eyes wouldn’t meet hers and he had a small frown on his face. “It’s not that.”

“Oh, well, I know going to office hours and test-prep sessions has really helped me in the…”

“I’m dyslexic.” He blurted out, still not looking at her.

“Oh.” The awkward moment seemed to stretch on forever.

_Say something. Say anything. _

“Having a learning disability is fairly common. It’s nothing to be…”

“Can we stop talking about this?” Jaime looked deeply uncomfortable.

“Sure. Of course.” She quickly buried her face back in her book.

Brienne thought that not wanting to talk about something that made you feel uncomfortable was totally understandable, but not doing anything about the problem was unacceptable to her. Therefore, she spent the next few days searching for tutoring programs that specialized in dyslexia. She found one close to campus.

During their next study session, as they had just settled down to go over their study material, Brienne wordlessly passed him a sheet of paper, sliding it smoothly across the table, with the name of the program and contact information. She was careful to keep her eyes down, but she could feel that he was looking at her.

When she glanced up, his face held an expression she had never seen before. It wasn’t quite embarrassment, or gratitude, or amusement, but a carefully blended arrangement of all three.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jaime casually whispered one evening, “Legs, are you hungry?”

She looked up at him like a fawn caught in headlights. “Uhhh…yeah, I could eat.”

He had to laugh at her reticence, “Soooo? Do you want to go grab something?”

“Together?” Her brows were tied in a knot of confusion.

“No, I was thinking we could get dinner separately, and just text each other back and forth as we eat, maybe send each other food pics. Of course, _together_!”

“Sure.” Her expression was still hesitant.

“All of this time and you still think I am up to something, don’t you?” He couldn’t help but feel a stab of sadness at the idea.

“No, it’s not that. We’ve just never been around other people together.” Brienne was looking down and rubbing slow circles over her tattoo with her thumb.

“Okkkk…and….are you embarrassed to be seen with me or something?”

Her eyes shot up and pinned his. “Is that a joke?”

“Wait, are you saying you think _I _would be embarrassed to be seen with _you_? Please tell me that is not what you are fucking saying.”

“Ok, it’s _not_ what I am saying.”

“Well then, what _are_ you saying?” He was getting really confused now.

“I’m not saying _anything_.” Her voice was practically inaudible.

“Alright, well, since you are not _not _saying something, I can only assume that you _are _saying something, you really just don’t want to _say_ it.”

“Exactly.”

His laugh rang throughout the study area.

“Shhhh…”, she whispered but she was working hard to stifle her own giggles.

“So, food. Let’s go get some.” And with that, his stomach gurgled, causing them both to erupt into more fits of muffled laughter.

* * *

Jaime took Brienne to his favorite greasy food and hamburger joint. They sat across from each other in a small booth. He had ordered them cheese fries, onion rings, cheeseburgers, and chocolate shakes. It was all piled high in front of them.

Brienne was holding up a cheese fry and wrinkling her nose at it. “Do you always eat like this?”

“No, sometimes I order the mozzarella sticks too.” He laughed at her look of utter disgust. “We can’t all be paragons of virtue like you, Legs. Live a little. Eat a cheese fry.”

He watched her closely as she carefully put the fry in her mouth and sucked the cheese off of it. The way her plump lips circled around the fry as she sucked made the lower part of his abdomen clench. He was holding his breath as she chewed and swallowed.

“Good, huh? Have another…” Before he could censor himself, he was reaching out to feed her another cheese fry. Brienne opened her mouth and he slipped it in, watching as her tongue dragged the fry the rest of the way into her mouth, and the tip darted back out to catch some of the cheese that had dripped onto her lips.

When she caught him staring at her, she blushed. Jaime watched Brienne’s blush creep down her face and into her chest. Two of the buttons on her light grey button-down shirt were unfastened and he could see that she had freckles there too.

Brienne startled him when she said, “What?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you blush this much around other people.”

She ran her hands through her hair nervously and changed the subject. “I’m not sure if I am a fan of cheese fries but I do love cheese burgers.” And with that, she took a huge bite and groaned; it was a deep guttural sound in the back of her throat.

“Wow.” He had to shift in his seat and change his position to ease the tension in his groin area. When she took another bite and moaned again he said, “Fuck. This is like watching food porn.”

Her face flushed and she threw a stray pickle at him. So, he flung an onion ring at her. When she hurled the onion ring back, he bent down to catch it in his mouth. She smiled and threw another one at him, which he also caught with his mouth.

“Who knew you were so talented?”

“I can do _a lot_ of things with my mouth, Legs.” He gave her his most sinful grin.

She cleared her throat and said, “I bet. Everything except restrain it.”

“Didn’t know you were into restraints?” She looked positively taken aback and her face turned scarlet. 

Jaime curled a broken onion ring around her wrist, like a handcuff, and they both laughed at his stupidity.

* * *

In the following few weeks they went out to eat several more times. Jaime would take her out to indulge in the magnificence of pizza pies and food truck tacos (the best kind, in his opinion) and Brienne showed him where the best hummus and acai bowl places were near campus. They saw a couple of horror flicks at the movies and he went to watch her practice at the skate park.

However, today was the first time he had been in her dorm room. They had agreed to do a little studying, order Pentoshi takeout, and watch a movie.

Currently, they were sitting on the floor eating Pentoshi-style noodles while quizzing each other using flash cards. Brienne was wearing a loose aqua-colored racerback tank-top with a black strappy camisole underneath. She had paired her cutoff shorts with ripped black tights. One of the holes was just above her knee and he could see that she had freckles on her thighs as well.

_I wonder if it’s possible to count all of her freckles at once?_

Unexpectedly, Brienne was waving her hand in front of his face. “Earth to Jaime, I just asked you about how one calculates the gross domestic product of any given country?”

“Let’s see, you take the country’s total and complete apathy, multiply that by their boredom, and divide it by how many fucks I give.”

“Ok, guess we’re done studying.” She threw the flash card at his head and it bonked him on the nose. “Watch it, Legs. You almost took my eye out.” He grabbed the cushion he had been sitting on and whacked her on the side of the head, making it recoil.

Brienne tried to wallop him with her cushion, but he bent back, in what later he would recall as being an excellent Matrix-style move. So, she was forced to crawl forward to try and hit him again. He grabbed her pillow and she lost her balance. Brienne landed on top of him. She straddled his hips so that she could reach far enough to suffocate him with the pillow. “Do you yield?”

“Never.” He mumbled into the pillow and started tickling her sides.

“No fair! You’re playing dirty!”

“All’s fair in love and pillow fights!” He assaulted her with tickles again.

Suddenly, the front door opened and a woman walked in. “Well, what do we have here? Sorry to interrupt your foreplay Bri.”

“Hey, Margaery. This is my _friend, _Jaime. Jaime, this is my roommate Margaery.”

“Yeah, I think we’ve met in one of those boring high society functions our parents love to drag us to a few times a year. You’re a Tyrell, right?”

“Yeah, is your sister the one going out with Renly’s brother, Robert Baratheon?” Margaery turned to Brienne to explain. “Renly is my brother’s boyfriend.” Then, she turned back to Jaime with a glint of disdain in her eyes, and her next words were sharp, and cutting. “Her name is Cersei, correct?”

“Yup.” He could feel his heart lurch and his chest was suddenly very tight.

“Aren’t they engaged now?” Margaery looked at him feigning innocence.

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to her in a long time.” His voice was thick with suppressed emotion.

“It’s so hard to keep in touch with our loved ones sometimes. Especially when they have a significant other keeping them occupied _all the time_.”

Jaime was clenching his fists at his sides as he spoke tersely, through clenched teeth, “Wouldn’t know.”

“It looks like you are pretty busy yourself these days.” She was giving him and Brienne a reptilian grin. “Oh, Brienne I do love those shorts on you.” Margaery bent down and ran a finger along the thigh hole in her ripped tights. “And THESE just make your legs look delectable, dear. Aren’t her legs wickedly and deliciously long, Jaime? Don’t you just want to eat them up?” She was giving Brienne a hungry look that made Jaime irrationally angry.

“Do you often fantasize about eating people, Margaery?” His voice was low and dangerous.

“Only the ones I know will taste good!” She winked at Brienne and strolled into her room, closing the door gently behind her.

Jaime turned to Brienne, “I’m pretty sure your roommate wants to fuck you.”

Brienne was so red she was almost purple. “Margaery is just a flirt. Pretty sure sex is merely a game to her.”

“Or a weapon”, Jaime grumbled.

“You don’t seem to like her very much. Why did you get so upset when she brought up your sister being engaged?”

_SHIT. FUCK._

Jaime was in no way prepared to have _this _conversation with Brienne. He hadn’t come up with the words to explain away all the fucked up shit he had done in his past. He didn’t really want to make her privy to all of the twisted and sorted details of his relationship with his sister. Brienne was so innocent and good. He wasn’t sure how to frame the words so that she could understand. “It’s complicated. I promise to tell you about all of that someday, but I am just not ready yet.” 

“That bad?”

“Worse than anything you can imagine, I’m sure.” Jaime suddenly wished he could turn back time, and erase every sick and twisted thing he had ever done, but he knew that he never could. They would hang around his neck like a curse, forever. He had to live with the consequences of those choices every day, from now, until the end of his days. He knew the time would come when Brienne would find out all about them, and the thought, absolutely terrified him. Would she be disgusted? Would she push him away again? His stomach tightened in knots and the noodles inside threatened to come back up.

“Jaime, you’re scaring me.” Brienne had such a panicked look of concern on her face that it sent a pang of acute regret straight into his heart.

“How bout we watch that movie now? What’s it gonna be?”

They ended up watching “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” on the couch together. Jaime put his head in Brienne’s lap at one point, towards the end of the movie. After some time passed, she had absently run her fingers through his hair, which sent tingles throughout his scalp, but also felt so peaceful, that he had never wanted to move.

* * *

After Jaime had left for the evening, Margaery approached Brienne in the kitchen down the hall from their dorm room. “Hey beautiful, got a minute?”

Brienne yawned, “Sure, but I am heading into bed soon.”

“Can I join you?” Margaery asked her seductively.

“I’m straight Marg. Sorry.” Brienne backed up a bit to drive the message home.

“I figured, but if you ever want to experiment…”

“Marg, did you have anything else you wanted to talk to me about?” Brienne said in an attempt to steer the ship back onto safe waters, or so she thought.

“Well, as a good roommate I thought I should warn you. I know you must not be aware of this but, Jaime Lannister has quite a reputation.”

Brienne felt a shot of adrenaline send a cold wave of fear down the nape of her neck, all while her inner voice screamed, “I knew it. I tried to warn you”.

“Which means what?”

“Well, it mostly has to do with his sister.” Margaery gave her a knowing look.

Brienne’s heart skipped a beat and her breathing hitched.

“There are some nasty rumors out there about the Lannister twins having a very _unorthodox_ relationship with one another. Some people say they are too touchy-feely. But it could turn out to be a bunch of vicious and totally unfounded gossip. I just thought you should ask him about it before things go any further between you guys. You deserve to know what you are getting yourself into.”

When Brienne could find the words she said, “We’re just friends.”

Margaery smacked her arm and winked, “Didn’t look that way to me. The way you two stare at each other, it’s really hot. Just be careful, alright?”

“Ok, thanks Marg but I’m sure the rumors are false.”

Except later that night, remembering Jaime’s cryptic words, she wasn’t so sure. The more Brienne thought about it, the more that small ball of dread that Marg had planted in the pit of her stomach, started to grow.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few days, Brienne worked hard to push away her concerns, to give Jaime the time and space that he had said he needed. She was hopeful that he would tell her everything once he was able. She tried not to ruminate on the images that kept popping into her head whenever she thought about what Margaery had insinuated.

_It can’t be true. Jaime is a nice guy. He wouldn’t do something like that, would he?_

After much deliberation, she made up her mind to just go ahead and trust him. He was her friend and he deserved the benefit of the doubt. Brienne chose to believe _him_, over whatever vicious, bored, gossips with an overly active imagination, had to say about him.

Once her decision was made, she felt the lump in her stomach dissipate. The realization dawned on her that she could just go on being herself, and Jaime, would go on being Jaime. Whenever doubt started to rear its ugly head, she quickly squashed it down and pushed it away, which was quite easy for her to do. Brienne had had a lifetime to perfect the art of ignoring her true feelings.

Just as she was lost in thought, deciding _not _to think about him, she got a text from Jaime:

**Jaime: Hey. Got a ? 4 u**

**Me: K**

**Jaime: Want 2 go 2 a party w me 2nite?**

**Me: No**

**Jaime: LOL. Figured. What if I beg?**

**Me: Tempting, but still no. I don’t do parties.**

**Jaime: I don’t eithre. I need u. Please. Don’t make me go aloen**

**Me: Ughhhh. Give me more info. Why do you HAVE to go to said party? Can’t you just skip it?**

**Jaime: I treid but Addam would not take no for an anwser. It is his bday party. **

**Me: Hmmm….maybe**

**Jaime: Come on. All of my old football taem will be there. Can’t face them wo u. Addam is a good guy. Can’t not go**

**Me: Sigh. Fine.**

**Jaime: GREAT! Thank u! Will be there 2 get u at 9**

**Me: K. You owe me!**

**Jaime: Whatever u want I will do! HUGS!**

* * *

Brienne tried to convince Margaery that, although she and Jaime hadn’t talked about Cersei yet, he could be trusted. Margaery wasn’t entirely convinced, but she immediately jumped from skeptic to matchmaker, anyway. She was now of the opinion, that Brienne and Jaime should move past friendship and “end their agony”, whatever that meant. Despite how uncomfortable Margaery’s matchmaking made Brienne feel, she liked this version of her the best.

Therefore, Brienne let Margaery play dress-up with her. She managed to coax Brienne into wearing a short-sleeved, ocean-blue, shift dress that she hadn’t worn since graduation, and was a few inches too short now. The hemline of the dress was riding mid-thigh, so Brienne paired it with black fishnet tights, and her slightly scruffy, ocean-blue, Chuck Taylors, in hopes that it would make her appear less scandalously clad. Brienne also put on her cropped, dark-blue, jean jacket in order to hide her massive biceps, and ward off the chill in the fall air. Lastly, Margaery insisted on doing Brienne’s hair and makeup. She put some gel into her hair and spiked it out a bit. She also pestered Brienne into borrowing some of her black eyeliner and silver eyeshadow. “As a finishing touch”, Margaery smeared some lightly tinted lip gloss onto Brienne’s lips, and slipped the tube into one of her jean jacket’s pockets, so she could “reapply later”.

When Brienne heard a knock on the door at 9:00 pm. she froze in a bout of self-consciousness.

_I can’t do this._

However, Margaery was having none of it, and shoved her towards the door. “Go get him, gorgeous!” 

Brienne took a deep breath and hesitantly opened the door. Jaime stood there looking painfully beautiful. He wore a black leather jacket, a black form-fitting designer T-shirt, really expensive looking dark-blue jeans, and black canvas Nike’s. His hair was almost chin length and it was falling around his face in soft waves. She had a sudden urge to run her fingers through it.

Jaime’s green eyes were roaming all over her body, all at once. “Holy shit you look good!” His gaze was so heated that she felt herself melting. She knew her cheeks were, most definitely, burning.

Directly behind her, she heard Margaery squeal and clap her hands in glee.

Jaime, still standing in the doorway, shot Margaery a warning look over Brienne’s shoulder.

“What? If _I_ can’t have her, at least this way I know those legs won’t be going to waste tonight. You take good care of her, Lannister!”

Completely ignoring Margaery, Jaime said, “You ready?”

Brienne felt incredibly shy. They had gone out as friends many times before, but for some reason, this felt like a date. _Why does this feel like a date? It’s not a date. We’re just friends going to a party together. NOT. A. DATE. Relax Brienne._

“Yup.”

They walked to the house party that was about three blocks away. Jaime kept looking down at his phone and pressing “end” when a call would come in.

“You can answer that if you want. I don’t mind.”

“I don’t _want _to answer it. It’s nothing important.” He smiled at her, a little nervously.

When they got to the house that was blasting music and bursting with people, Jaime groaned. “I’m sorry about this. Thanks again for coming.”

Brienne nodded feeling even more shy. Her shoulders and back felt tense. The thought of going into a place with so many people she didn’t know made her feel slightly nauseous. Jaime lifted her chin with the crook of his finger and looked directly into her eyes. “Hey, don’t worry. We won’t stay long. And if at any time you want to bail, just let me know, and we’re out. Ok?”

Brienne nodded. Then, in an unprecedented move, Jaime grabbed her hand and entwined his fingers through hers, before pulling her towards the entrance. Her whole arm was tingling.

_He’s holding my hand. HE’S HOLDING MY HAND. This is not a date. This is NOT a date._

Immediately upon entering, she felt curious eyes watching them. Jaime was greeted by several guys that, she could only assume, were on the football team.

Jaime introduced her to all of them. “So and So, this is Brienne. Brienne, this is So and So.” He never qualified their relationship by letting them know that she was his friend; he just introduced her as Brienne, and let them assume whatever they wanted.

_This is NOT a date._

Jaime searched the house until he found Addam. “Hey, happy birthday bro!”

Addam was tall and handsome with fiery red hair. “So glad you finally came out to party with us! I’ve only been harassing you for a whole year!” Addam gave Jaime a warm pat on the back before he noticed that Jaime was holding onto Brienne with his right hand. “How’s the wrist?”

“Still pretty fucked up, but I can wipe my ass with it, so there’s that. Anyway, Addam, this is Brienne. Brienne, this is Addam, my first friend here at KLU.”

Addam turned to her with a sparkling smile. His eyes were warm and friendly. “So, THIS is the famous Brienne! I finally get to meet the woman that brought Lannister back into the land of the living. I can see why he likes you so much. Jaime, you’ve been holding out on me.” Addam sounded sincere as he gave Brienne an approving look. He put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “_Very _nice to meet you, Brienne.” Then, he whispered in her ear, “No, seriously, thank you so much. I was worried about him”, far too low for Jaime to hear.

Jaime pulled Brienne away and put his arm around her. “Ok, that’s enough of that. Don’t you have keg stands to do or something, instead of ogling and being overly handsy with my…with Brienne?”

Addam laughed and slapped Jaime on the back, before waving at her, and walking into a crowd of people in the kitchen.

Jaime cleared his throat, “Do you want a drink?”

She shrugged. “I don’t usually drink.”

“I’ll make you something. Do you like sweet or sour?”

“Ummmm….sweet?”

“How does Malibu and Coke sound?” He was looking at her with a smirk and mischief in his eyes.

“Sure. I’ll try it.”

“Ok. Be right back.” Jaime disappeared into the sea of people in the large kitchen.

The minute he left her side, Brienne felt people staring again. So, she leaned into the wall on the far side of the living room, trying hard to blend in with the wallpaper. Someone had cranked the music high enough to be deafeningly loud. People were gyrating all around her and kept accidentally bumping into her.

_This must be what hell is like._

She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped, but was relieved to find that it was Jaime, with their drinks. He was saying something but she could not hear a word of it. “WHAT?”

Jaime leaned into her and pressed his chest up close so that he could talk directly into her ear. His hair smelled like vanilla and something musky. His breath felt warm in hear ear, and the brush of his lips against her earlobe, was sending shivers down her spine. “I SAID, IT’S REALLY LOUD IN HERE. LET’S GO OUT ONTO THE PATIO!”

Brienne nodded and he handed her a drink. Then, he grabbed her hand and pulled her in close, shielding her against the onslaught of bodies bopping around to the music. He had wrapped her hand tight against his chest, so that her front was pressed firmly against his back as they walked. Heat radiated off of him in waves, seeping into her skin.

The patio was almost as crowded as the rest of the house, but the music was not as loud out there. However, they still had to stand fairly close to talk to one another.

“How do you like your drink?” He looked at her expectantly. His face was so close to hers that she was staring directly into his eyes. They had little flecks of gold in them.

When she took a sip of her drink, his eyes traveled down to her lips. “Tastes like sweetened coconut, something spicy, and bubbles. It’s good.” She took a long draught, as he leaned in close, her throat feeling dry.

“Glad you like it. Be careful, Legs, it will go straight to your head.” She could feel his breath on her cheek.

The music changed to something slow and rhythmic. He put his left arm around her waist, and his hand went up under her jacket, to the base of her spine, and tugged her closer. His cheek was now pressed alongside hers. Jaime bumped his hip against hers firmly, but slowly, to get her to sway back and forth, in time to the music.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was low and breathless.

“Dancing. Just go with it.” He whispered into her ear. His own voice was low and raspy.

“I don’t dance.”

“Let’s pretend you do.” Jaime pressed her against him more firmly. The combination of his hip rubbing against hers, along with his fingers skimming circles into her back, made her knees weak.

Brienne was an inch taller than him, but in this moment, it felt like he was towering over her, as he moved her body to his will.

“You really do look amazing tonight.” His lips were tantalizingly close to her jawline. If she turned her head, even slightly to the left, their lips would meet.

Unexpectedly, Brienne saw a gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a long-sleeved, form-fitting, red dress pushing towards them with a scowl on her face. Her voice was high and sweet as molasses but it had a twinge of menace in it when she said, “Jaime, is that you?”

Jaime froze in Brienne’s arms and she felt him inhale sharply.

“Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, before turning around.

“It _IS_ you, dear brother. I’ve been trying to call you for two days to tell you that I was coming to visit. I’ve missed you!”

_Cersei. _

Something about how tensely Jaime was standing next to her, coupled with the look of utter fury in his eyes, made the ball of dread press up out of her stomach and into her chest. Brienne felt like a whole building had been dropped on her. She couldn’t catch her breath.

“What the fuck are you _doing_ here, Cersei?” His words were scorching.

“I already told you. I came to see you. I had to track you down like some stalker” Cersei had been ignoring Brienne up until then, but when she turned her cold green eyes on her, Brienne flinched under their scrutiny. “And who’s this…woman? It is a woman, right? You’re not suddenly into drag queens are you _dearest_ brother?”

“Shut the fuck up, Cersei. You are such a bitch. How dare you come here after all this time?” Jaime had put his drink down. His arms were crossed tightly against his chest, as if shielding himself from a beating.

“Well, I thought we could discuss our arrange…” and she never got to finish her sentence, because Jaime grabbed her arm, roughly, and dragged her across the patio, and further into the yard, out of earshot.

Brienne watched as Cersei kept trying to touch his face and come in close, while Jaime kept pushing her hands away, and stepping back. The way Cersei was trying to drape herself over him, and the heated way he was rejecting her advances, made alarm bells ring in her head. She played back what Cersei had said, along with Jaime’s reaction, and the puzzle pieces began to fit together, horrifically.

_It’s true. The rumors are true. Oh, my gods, they were lovers. This is an ex-lover’s quarrel. _

Her stomach turned in revulsion as the image of them together assaulted her. _They’re twins! How could they? How could he? How could MY Jaime have done that? _

And then, the most horrifying thought of all occurred to her_. If he could do that, what else could he have done that I don’t know about? **I don’t know him at all**._

The years of self-protective barriers that he had taken down, only served to leave her feeling vulnerable and violated by him now. She felt like she had let a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing into her hen house. He had the power to ravage her. He had ravaged his own sister after all, what wouldn’t he do to her?

Her eyes were stinging and her chest ached. _I have to get out of here._

Brienne pushed her way back through the house and out of the front door. She was almost a block away when he caught up to her.

“Brienne! Brienne, STOP! Where are you going? What happened?”

When she turned around; tears streaming down her face, arms crossed around her chest, and sobs making choking sounds in her throat as she tried to hold them in; he took a step back, as if she had slapped him.

“Brienne?”

When she still wouldn’t speak, he moved towards her and put his hand on her arm, gently. “Brienne, talk to me. Say something.”

His eyes were wide and glassy. “Please, say something.”

“Is it true? What Margaery said, is it true?” Her voice cracked and the tears felt like they were drowning her.

“Yes.” He said with a resigned voice full of sorrow.

_My gods. He admits it. It’s true._

“Brienne, please, let me explain…” His voice was hoarse.

“I trusted you. But I don’t really know you, do I? How am I supposed to trust you?“

“I…I don’t know…if you should. I am a sick fuck, ok? Maybe, I should tell you to run far away from me and never look back, but I won’t, I won’t do that because I’m a selfish asshole. Brienne, just give me a chance. I know I don’t deserve it but…” His eyes were pleading, as he was running his hand up and down her arm.

Brienne pulled away and turned around. “I can’t. I just can’t. I….I have to go.”

She ran the rest of the way home as fast as she could, tears blinding her, heart breaking, but she needn’t have run at all. Jaime wasn’t chasing her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, tell me what you think about this chapter. It was a doozy to write.

_She knows. She knows and she hates me. _

Jaime had tried so hard not to think about the look on Brienne’s face, before she ran away from him that night, but it was seared into his mind. Her eyes had been so full of horror and mistrust. The tears had streamed down her face, while her arms, had clung onto herself, as if he had physically attacked her, as if she was afraid he would do it again. There was nothing in the world that he had wanted more than to make it better, to make that pain go away, to make her understand that he would never _intentionally_ hurt her, but the damage had already been done.

The fact that she had found out the way she did, was an immense source of guilt for him. She had deserved better than that. If he had only found the courage to tell her himself sooner, perhaps, she would not have felt so deceived, perhaps the truth would have been easier to swallow.

What could he do now? He couldn’t turn back time. His only recourse was to try to explain, and hope that she would, someday, come to accept all of his past sins. The thought of pure and innocent Brienne ever wanting to be with someone like him seemed impossible now. However, perhaps he could make this dull ache in his chest go away if he confessed. Perhaps, if he threw himself at her feet, like she was the Maiden incarnate, and helped her see how much he needed her to overlook all of his former transgressions and tell her to just _stay _… to not leave him all alone in the world again, to understand that he couldn’t go back to the numb, mindless, existence he had been living before he met her, perhaps then, she would take pity on him.

He tried calling her but she would not answer. The few times he had gone to her dorm room, Margaery had informed him that Brienne was not there, which he was fairly certain, had been lies. Brienne had not gone back to the library, or her usual running route, nor could he locate her at the skate parks near campus.

As the week wore on, Jaime started to accept the fact that she didn’t want to hear what he had to say, that he had lost his chance to explain himself, that perhaps, he could not make this better. Then, he started to convince himself that he didn’t really deserve her, that it was best for her if he just left her alone, that he had to let her move on, and that _he_ had to learn to limp along in life without her.

As part of his new unhealthy coping mechanism, instead of going to the library to study, he would go home to his apartment and drink. Drinking beer while watching tv had become his new normal. He was a few beers into the evening when Tyrion called him.

“Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while, is that giant blonde of yours keeping you busy?”

“No.” He chugged the rest of his beer.

“Um, ok. You sound….did something happen?”

“Yeah, she hates me.” Jaime could hear that his words were a bit slurred.

“Jaime, are you drunk? You never get drunk anymore! What do you mean she hates you?” Tyrion sounded concerned and confused. Although Tyrion was 6 years younger, he was wise beyond his years, and this role reversal between the two brothers was nothing new.

“She knows and…she hates me for it.” Jaime could hear his voice grow rough as the alcohol made him lose control of his emotions. Tears swam in his eyes.

“_What_ does she _know?_”

“Tyrion, she _KNOWS. _She figured it out. Cersei was here.”

“Oh gods, she knows about you and…”

Jaime threw his bear bottle across the living room, into the trashcan, located on the far side of the kitchen. It missed, spectacularly, and shattered into a million pieces all over the floor.

“What the fuck was that? Are you breaking shit in your apartment?”

Jaime was having trouble speaking, and the effort of keeping the tears back, made his breath hitch.

“Jaime, are you crying? Listen to me, you have to talk to her. Explain to her how you feel. Explain to her how it happened.”

“I tried. She’s ghosting me…because…I repulse her. Tyrion, I’m not good enough for her. She deserves better than me. She’s so pure and good and sweet…” His voice cracked and the tears got caught in his throat again.

“Ok, listen. Go to bed and sleep this off. I will call you in the morning when you can think rationally. Where there is a will, there’s a way. We’ll figure it out. Don’t drink anymore and go straight to bed. Ok?”

“Ok.

“Goodnight. I love you brother.”

Jaime’s heart swelled and the tears threatened him again, “I love you too.”

* * *

Jaime woke up on the couch to the sound of the phone ringing near his ear. His head was pounding and his throat was as dry as the desert. His eyes were so dry, and his vision so blurry, that he had trouble making out who was calling.

_If this is Tyrion again I am going to kill him._

Jaime took a deep breath and croaked, “Hello”.

There was silence on the other end and then, the sound of deep breathing. Jaime looked at the caller ID and his heart lurched.

“Brienne?”

Her breathing was coming in little bursts now. _Is she crying?_

“Brienne is everything alright?”

“Jaime…” The strangled sound of his name in her throat made his chest tighten in fear.

“Brienne, it’s ok. I’m here. Are you ok?”

In between sobs she said, “My…dad…he…died…I’m…sorry…I…know…it’s late…but…I…needed to talk…to …you…” Brienne hiccupped the last word out. Her voice was so small and scared that he could palpably feel her pain.

“I ….got…your…messages. Was going…to …call…you …earlier…but…couldn’t…I’m so…sorry….” She was openly sobbing now.

“Shhhh...You have nothing to apologize about. I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am. I am so, so, sorry Brienne. You have to believe me that I never meant to hurt you. But I don’t want to talk about me. Are _you _ok? What do _you_ need?”

Her breathing had slowed down and he could tell that she was a little calmer. “Margaery had to go home early to prepare for ‘The Feast of the Seven’ this weekend. I have to catch a plane to Tarth tomorrow, to go bury my dad.” There was a pause before she said, “I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just keep thinking about how alone I am.”

“You’re not alone.” 

Her breathing hitched again. “You are the only person I want to talk to. I _needed_ to talk to you.”

His heart was beating wildly.

_She doesn’t hate me. She needs me. She wants to talk to me. _

_His_ urgent need to be physically close to her was overwhelming him. “Do you want me to come over? I can be there in fifteen minutes.” He was already putting his shoes on in anticipation of what she would say.

“Yes.” 

“Ok. Be there soon.”

Jaime looked at the time, it was 3:44 a.m.

_Brienne doesn’t hate me. _ _She knows and she doesn’t hate me._

* * *

Brienne was pacing and wringing her hands. She hadn’t seen Jaime in over a week but it felt like a lifetime had passed. At first, she had resisted listening to his messages, but then, she found herself playing them over and over again. As soon as she had made up her mind that she was going to call him, and give him a chance to talk, the nursing home had called to tell her that her dad had died. The last few days had been a whirlwind of making funeral arrangements, calling the few relatives that might want to attend, and making sure she got postponements on some of her tests and class assignments. Her nights had been restless and agonizing.

All of her nerve endings were shot due to lack of sleep, anxiety, and grief. Once Margaery had left, Brienne had been overwhelmed by crushing loneliness. Yet, all she could think about was Jaime, about how much she missed him, about how much she needed to hear the sound of his voice. She had battled with herself, until the thought of going to Tarth without first speaking to him, became unbearable. Life was short. She would have given anything to have her family back. But that wasn’t possible. They were gone. However, Jaime was still here and willing to be a part of her life. The importance of that overshadowed anything else he might have done in his past. His past sex life seemed very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Who was she to judge him? She had assumed the worst of him without even hearing his side. He didn’t deserve that. 

She decided to busy herself by putting a kettle of water to boil, on the hotplate, for tea. Once, she had put it on, she heard the knock on the door.

Taking a deep breath, she braced herself, and opened it. He was in sweatpants and a KLU hooded sweatshirt. His hair was mussed from sleep, and his eyes looked bloodshot, but he was still the best looking man she had ever seen.

The smile on his face somehow mirrored the sadness in his eyes, when he said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

He took a tiny step towards her and she flung herself into his arms. Jaime’s arms squeezed her tight as he walked them both into her dorm suite. He shut the door behind them with his foot.

Brienne buried her face in his shoulder and cried. She cried for the loss of her father and she cried over her own stupidity. Being in his arms like this she knew, there was no place she would ever feel safer. The fact that she had pushed him away, and tortured both of them, needlessly, was weighing heavily on her heart.

“Shhh…” He soothed her by making soft cooing sounds while gently running his hand up and down the back of her head.

Jaime placed his hand on her neck and rubbed circles on it with his thumb, which she realized, was the first delicious wave of pleasure she had felt in over a week. She melted into him. “Jaime.”

His voice sounded husky, “Brienne.”

She dared herself to pull her head up and look at him.

His eyes were smoldering. He wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. “Brienne…” He was leaning into her slowly as if they were both being pulled together by a magnetic force beyond their control. They were a breath away, when the sound of the tea kettle startled them.

She went over to the hot plate to take the kettle off.

Jaime came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her again. His mouth was warm in her ear when he said, “I am so sorry about your dad.”

Brienne leaned her body back into his. “At least he’s not suffering anymore. He could barely speak. But I am still going to miss him so much. They’re all gone, Jaime.” The grief choked her.

“I’m so sorry.” The weight of his words seemed all-encompassing.

She leaned her head back further so that her cheek was resting against his. “I know. I’m sorry too.”

“Brienne I meant to tell….”

She cut him off by turning her head, and murmuring, with her lips against his cheek, “Shhh. That doesn’t matter now.” She placed a small kiss there. “Only this matters.”

“Brienne.” He turned his head and their lips brushed, feather light. She felt a jolt of desire swoop deeply in her lower abdomen. He grabbed her arms and spun her around so fast that she crashed into his chest.

Then, his mouth was hard upon hers. Plump, soft, warm, and pressing into her so deliciously that it made her hum in pleasure. He moaned deep in his throat, and when she responded with one of her own, his tongue came into her mouth to claim it. His hot tongue was sliding tantalizingly against hers and she felt a deep ache between her legs. She responded by pressing her pelvis into his. Jaime wedged his thigh between hers and pulled her forward so that she was straddling it. Brienne wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted herself up so that she could bring her core closer to where she wanted it.

Jaime’s hands were roaming across her back as she rubbed herself on him.

“FUCK!” He said as he pulled her down hard onto his thigh and suckled on the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

As the friction between her legs increased she felt the moister starting to pool there. “Jaime…”

“Brienne.”

Jaime put his arms firmly around her waist and lifted her up so that she was sitting on the small table behind her. He placed himself in the V between her legs and pressed his cock up against her sex. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him closer. Her leggings were thin and she could feel him against her folds.

He rocked his pelvis into her as he devoured her mouth. He was breathing hard as he mouthed the words into her neck. “Brienne, Brienne, we have to stop.”

“You feel so good Jaime. I need...I...need…you”

“FUCK!” He pulled her legs tighter around his waist, so that he could lift her off the table, and direct her pelvis to where he needed it. They rutted against eachother as their hands and mouths searched for any inch of flesh they could find. As she felt her stomach muscles clench, she wrapped her legs even tighter around him, and pushed down into him. Waves of pleasure crashed through her as her walls clenched and released. Brienne dropped her head onto his shoulder to muffle her groan of ecstasy.

Jaime gently placed her back onto the table. He pulled away from her a little, so that he could kiss his way up her jaw, to her mouth. He planted small, sweet, kisses on her lips. “Feel better?”

“Oh gods, yes.”

They both laughed softly.

She put her hand tentatively on the waist band of his sweatpants, “What about you?”

Jaime looked into her eyes and shook his head. His smile was wicked as he said, “Another time.”

He put her arm around his neck. Then, he placed one of his arms around her back and the other under her knees. “Jaime, what are you…”, she asked as she felt him lift her up.

“Taking you to bed.”

“Jaime…”

“To sleep. I’m putting you in your bed to sleep. And don’t you dare suggest I am not strong enough to carry you.”

Indeed, he carried her into the bedroom with ease, and rested her gently on the bed. When he was pulling the covers up over her, she placed a hand on his to still them. “Stay.”

He smiled at her and nodded. “Ok.”

Then, he settled in behind her, placing one arm around her waist and pressing the rest of his body flush against hers. “Sleep”, he whispered into her ear.

“Hmmm, yes”, she said, barely stifling a yawn. She felt herself fading fast. She snuggled in closer to him, and couldn’t help but notice, that their bodies fit perfectly together. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put my heart into this one. I hope you guys like it.

Jaime awoke to find Brienne burrowed in his chest. They were both on their sides, facing one another. His left arm and leg were draped over her. Brienne was nestled there in the fetal position. The warmth of her body against his felt like home. Jaime had never shared this level of intimacy with anyone. Waking up in bed with someone was a wholly new experience for him. He could smell her citrusy shampoo and it reminded him of being in an orange grove, near the sea, as a child.

He looked down and saw that her black camisole strap had slipped off on the right side, revealing a milky white breast and shoulder, and a constellation of freckles leading all the way down to a light-pink, partially exposed, nipple. He couldn’t resist tracing her freckles lightly with his fingertip, just like he had imagined doing many times. Her skin was silky smooth and soft. When he skimmed the crest of her nipple, he felt his breath quicken. Brienne turned her face up toward him, and arched her back, making her chest rise and swell.

“Jaime?...”, she mumbled sleepily.

“Mhhhmmm…”, he responded, as he lazily began to trace the newly exposed freckles on her chest. She shivered and arched her back again, which made her breast come all the way out of her camisole.

It was small and perfectly round. He longed to put his mouth on it and feel the nipple between his teeth. His breath caught when he noticed the light scattering of freckles all around it. “Do you have these all over?” His voice was gruff with want.

She opened one sleepy eye. Her face flushed a rosy pink color when she saw him staring wantonly at her chest. She pulled the other strap down with a small grin. That was all the invitation that he needed. He had to taste her. Jaime leaned in and used his tongue to trace the freckles starting at the base of her neck and worked his way slowly down to her nipple, which he sucked voraciously into his mouth, eliciting a low moan from Brienne’s lips.

He rucked her camisole down further, so that he could continue to map out her body with his tongue, from breast to navel, where her skin was taught and warm, back up to the other breast, where he stopped to suckle on it appreciatively. He fit most of it into his mouth and used his hands to caress all of the exposed skin around it. 

Brienne squirmed underneath him and made soft mewling sounds, which sent a shock of liquid heat into his achingly hard cock. Jaime shifted his leg, so he could straddle her thighs, and rest his groin in the nest between them, where he needed it most.

Brienne’s eyes flew open, sparkling blue in the morning light. She gazed at him hungrily. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she placed her hands on his chest, before sneaking them under his sweatshirt. Jaime hissed. Her fingers felt so good on his bare skin. Brienne let them roam, sending flutters of electricity down into his belly. She tugged his sweatshirt up and Jaime obliged by taking it off for her. The way her eyes went wide as she took all of him in, before hesitantly smoothing her hands over his pectoral muscles and shoulders, made his stomach tighten. Knowing she had never been like this with anyone but him made him weak.

“You’re so fucking sweet. I can’t take it.” He mumbled into her ear before pulling her earlobe into his mouth. It tasted like a soft peach on a summer’s day.

Brienne gasped and wrapped her legs around him, pressing herself hard on his cock. “Fuck”, he moaned. “I do love corrupting you though.”

He captured her mouth and she deepened the kiss, putting her arms around his neck and pressing his bare chest onto hers. The sensation of her soft, smooth, skin on his felt better than he had ever imagined it would. She raised her hips, wrapping them higher up around his waist, and began to rock up and down with her whole body, creating friction and heat wherever their bodies met. His head swam, overwhelmed by the sensation. “Or maybe you’re the one corrupting me.”

She was sucking on the base of his neck when he heard her laugh. “Inexperienced doesn’t necessarily mean innocent”, she said with a smirk.

“Oh yeah? Have you been having dirty thoughts about me?”

“Yes.”

“Really? Do you touch yourself when you think of me?”, he asked seductively.

“Yes.”

Molten heat swooped in his belly and bolted straight into his already impossibly hard cock. He lifted his hips so he could sneak his left hand between them. Pressing his fingers over her cunt, where her leggings were soaking wet, he found her seam and pressed one finger into it. He parted her folds over the fabric and rubbed her there, where she was burning hot. “Like this?” She nodded, looking at him with half-hooded eyes.

“Do you always get this wet?” he wanted to know as he fingered her harder and faster.

“Oh gods…” she moaned.

“You like that?” She responded by rocking her pelvis frantically into his hand.

“So fucking sexy.”

The sounds she was making were driving him mad. He used his thumb to find her clit. When she began groaning loudly and fisting the sheets, he picked up the pace, until she screamed his name. The sound of his name on her lips made him shiver with desire. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and rocked her hips until she shuddered through her orgasm.

Jaime moved his hand, but his cock fell back into her soaking wet core, when her legs wouldn’t release their tight hold around his waist. She looked into his eyes and shook her head.

“You now”, she gasped. He was so close already, it really wouldn’t take much. Jaime lifted her lusciously long left leg and placed it over his shoulder, so that he could grind himself more firmly into her. He could feel the hot wet liquid between her legs soak through his pants and he imagined how good it would feel to be inside of her. Their bodies rocked together frantically. In just a few thrusts he came, embarrassingly fast, as she shuddered against him again.

Jaime dropped down heavily onto her chest, feeling languid, as months of sexual tension uncoiled and faded.

Brienne kissed his shoulder softly and whispered, “Feel better?”

“Never better”, he half moaned into her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him and ran her ankles soothingly over his calves.

They were drifting off to sleep again when the alarm on Brienne’s phone went off.

“I guess we should get cleaned up. You have a plane to catch. When is your flight?”

“At one o’clock.”

“That gives us a couple of hours. When is the funeral?”

“The viewing in the Grand Sept of Tarth is tomorrow at ten and the burial is at eleven.” Her voice got hoarse.

“Will you be alright out there by yourself? Do you want me to come?”

“No, that’s ok. I’ll be alright.”

“But you’ll call me if you need to talk, right?” He rolled onto his side and pulled her into his chest.

“Of course.” Her voice was low and wavering. He felt her warm tears on his bare chest.

Jaime tipped her head up towards him and peppered her face with soft kisses. They kissed tenderly for a few more minutes before he pulled her out of bed, helped her pack the rest of her things into a bag, bought her a quick brunch, and dropped her off at the airport.

* * *

Brienne had lied to Jaime. She was not alright. She was not ok. She was not prepared to do any of the things set before her. The thought of being all alone while they put her father in the ground, where she would never be able to see him again, was soul-crushing. Burying her mother and Galladon had been two of the most traumatic experiences of her life. The way their bodies had looked; cold and stiff in the middle of the cavernous sept, surrounded by the overwhelmingly cloying smell of hundreds of flowers, candles, and incense, and the sounds of people weeping as they prayed to the Gods for peace of mind; had given her nightmares for years. Except at least then, she had had her father to hold her hand, hug her, and whisper words of comfort into her ear as they lowered both of their loved ones into their final resting places. Now, she would have no one. Most of her relatives had moved and the ones that remained were too old and frail themselves, to attend. She would be surrounded by strangers, people whom had attended to her father in the nursing home, and friends of his she had barely ever spoken to, and some not at all, for many years.

Brienne had not wanted to inconvenience Jaime, to burden him with her grief, but she had not anticipated how much she would need him. It was too late to tell him to come. Last minute flights would be very expensive and she could not ask him to spend that kind of money on her.

It was this line of thinking that made her text him, “I’m ok. Just tired. Going to bed early. Have a big day tomorrow” that evening from her dingy motel room. Instead, what she really did that night, was try to watch late night tv while eating chocolate ice cream directly out of the carton between bouts of crying. She managed to doze off a few times, for short periods, before giving up entirely.

Brienne dragged herself off the bed and into the shower, willing herself to go through the motions. Then, she willed herself to brush her teeth and hair, before pulling on the black flowy, knee-length, button-down dress with small white flowers that Margaery had purchased for her to wear today. She also pulled on her black stockings, black button-down sweater, and black knee-high boots. When she looked in the mirror, her reflection was that of an ungainly, haunted, and sleep-deprived woman.

Brienne decided to walk to the sept and sit with her father for a while before the others arrived. The Grand Sept of Tarth was the oldest one on the island. It had huge archways and magnificent stained-glass windows. The alters for The Seven were carved out of the finest black marble and the gods themselves were made out of the most exquisitely inlaid mahogany. Yet, all of this finery could not ameliorate the dread she felt the minute she walked in through the ornately carved doors, and saw her father lying there prone, in the middle of the room, on a bed of sandalwood.

The smell of dozens of wreaths and baskets filled with flowers; the biggest of which, she noticed, had come from Jaime; along with the sickeningly sweet smell of incense that had been burning overnight, and the overwhelming heat of the room, all made her feel nauseous and dizzy. As she got closer to her father’s body, her hands started to tremble. She gazed upon his face and barely recognized the man she had loved with all of her heart. He looked so gaunt, pale, and withered where he had once been so healthy, brawny, and vibrant. How cruel life had been, in his last remaining years, to this man who had been nothing but kind, honest, hard-working, and good. _Oh, papa! _She touched his hand. It was cold and lifeless, but it was her papa, and she would never get a chance to do this again. She knelt down and pressed her cheek to his hand.

“Papa, thank you so much for being the best father and truly the best of men. You were always a shining beacon for me in the dark. I love you and I will miss you oh so much. I hope you get to rest now. I pray to the Father that he guides your soul in death, as graciously and lovingly, as you guided me in life.” The tears streamed down her face and choked her. How she wished her father would have been able to meet Jaime, or to see her graduate, or to walk her down the sept on her wedding day, or to hold his grandchildren. She mourned his loss but also theirs. They would never meet the man that had helped make her who she was.

When she thought of her mother, unborn sister, Galladon, and now, her father, all gone, her heart clenched with staggering pain. She was sobbing now. Lost and alone in an abyss of pain. She didn’t know how long she had been kneeling there, but others had started to arrive. Brienne made herself stand up slowly. Her knees were wobbly. Others came to the alter to pay their respects. She backed up a little to give them room. Brienne saw a little blonde-haired girl come in with a tall brawny man. _That must have been how papa and I looked when we held hands. _She felt herself shuddering as waves of sadness wracked her. _I don’t know how much more of this I can take._

Then, she felt a warm hand grab hers and squeeze it tight. He leaned into her ear and said, “I hope it’s ok that I came.” _JAIME! _Her heart unclenched and relief permeated every fiber of her being. His voice was like a soothing balm.

She clung onto his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

“It’s ok. I’m here. You’re not alone. I couldn’t let you do this alone.” He squeezed her tight in his arms and his embrace felt like home. She was home.

* * *

Jaime stood by her side and held her hand through it all. When they finally put her father in the ground, she felt sad but she was no longer in an abyss of pain. She could breathe again with Jaime by her side. She could face the world. She was not alone.

“You must be tired. Do you want to go back to your room and take a nap? Are you hungry?” He looked at her with gentle eyes. His golden hair was shining in the midday sun and he looked devastatingly handsome in his black designer suit that had been tailored to fit him perfectly. She wanted nothing more than to be with him and feel young, and alive, and whole.

She shook her head. “No. I don’t think I could sleep or eat.”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Yes, that sounds wonderful. I know just the place. There is a park I used to walk to not too far from here. It’s got lovely gardens.”

“Sounds perfect, let’s go there”

They strolled along leisurely, hand-in-hand, until they reached the park. The leaves were changing and there were sprays of gold, red, and orange as far as the eye could see. They ambled down Brienne’s favorite path until they reached her favorite spot.

“I used to make father push me on this swing, for what felt like hours, when I was a little girl.”

Jaime pulled her closer and patted the seat. “Hop on!”

She started to shake her head no, when he said, “Come oooon! You know you want to!” His enthusiasm was contagious and lightened the mood.

So, she sat and let him push her. The wind felt wonderful on her face. Her dress flowed all around her in soft waves. Brienne remembered the joy of being on this swing and thought about how, although her father was gone, she could take this with her, she could take the joy he had given her on this swing with her always.

“I wish you had met my father while he was still living. He was a good man. You would have liked him.”

“Me too. Tell me about him.”

And so she did. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is appreciated. These last few chapters have been tough to write but very satisfying.

Jaime managed to convince Brienne to check out of her motel and stay with him at his lodge for the evening. The lodge was located in one of Tarth’s most exclusive and secluded mountain ranges. It had a large bedroom suite complete with whirlpool, king size bed, and a fireplace. There was also a small kitchen, dining room, and a living room area with another large fireplace. The living room opened up into a huge patio with a pool, mini-sauna, and a spectacular view of the ocean.

“Jaime, how much did this cost?”, Brienne asked as she looked around the lodge with astonishment.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Jaime placed the bags of groceries in the kitchen. “So we have butternut squash soup, cold cuts, bread, cheese, fruit, a bag of salad, ice cream, tea, coffee, eggs, butter, pancake mix, bacon, and chocolate covered almonds.”

Brienne’s laugher echoed in the dining room where she was setting the table. “You got all of that while I was checking out of the motel?”

“Yup. I am STARVING! Grocery shopping in this state is dangerous. Obviously, not all of this is for tonight though. What appeals to you?”

“The butternut squash soup and salad sound yummy.”

“Yeah, as a starter, but we need more food than that, Legs. I can make us some tasty sandwiches or a cheese omelette.” 

Brienne came into the kitchen. “A cheese omelette does sound good too. Need any help?”

Jaime flipped a spatula into the air. “Nope. You just go get comfy. Ooohhh, I know, make a fire in the fireplace, if you know how.”

She looked slightly offended, “Of course I know how.”

Jaime took off his tie, shoes, and suit jacket, and rolled up his sleeves to get to work. Once he was done cooking and heating everything, he brought it all out into the dining room where Brienne waited for him in her black camisole, little black shorts, and bare feet. He’d never seen this much of her bare legs before, and they were exceedingly distracting. He tried not to ogle her too much but it was quite the concerted effort.

They were both so famished that they ended up scarfing down their meals in near silence. Brienne cleared the table by taking the plates to the kitchen, before bringing back out two bowls of vanilla ice cream with pieces of strawberry cut into it. They sat in the living room, in front of the fireplace, to enjoy them.

“Jaime, thank you so much for coming. It really means so much to me.” She glanced at him with big blue eyes swimming in tears.

“You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to come. I wanted to be here with you.” He squeezed her knee and Brienne shivered.

“Cold?” She shook her head no, but he draped the throw blanket over both of their laps anyway.

Just then, his cellphone rang. Jaime scowled when he saw that it was his father calling again.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s just Tywin being Tywin. He’s been calling me all day. My father is very upset that I will not be home tomorrow for ‘The Feast of the Seven’. I told him I couldn’t come because I was attending my girlfriend’s father’s funeral .”

He noticed Brienne stiffen beside him. “You told your father that _I_ am your _girlfriend_? _Am_ I your girlfriend?”

_Oh yeah, I should probably ask first, huh?_

“Yes, if you want to be. Do you want to be?” 

She nodded her head shyly.

He smiled, leaning over to kiss her soft lips. “Want to go for a dip in the pool?”

“Won’t it be too cold?”

“Let me turn on the heat, it should take about thirty minutes to warm up.” He pressed a few settings on his phone. “Meanwhile, we can go in the sauna.” He started unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his belt.

Brienne suddenly looked a little panicky. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

Jaime smiled a slow, predatory, smile, “Neither did I”, and pulled off his shirt and belt. Then he removed his pants and socks, leaving him standing only in his black boxer-briefs. He held out a hand to her. Brienne hesitated a second before standing up and pulling down her shorts to reveal nearly sheer, black, high cut, underwear. Jaime could almost make out the color and texture of her pubic hair. His cock twitched and hardened. His breath got caught in his throat, when she pulled off her camisole, to reveal an equally sheer black bra. 

“Margaery bought these.” Her face and chest flashed crimson before she grabbed his outstretched hand.

Jaime longed to throw her on the couch and devour her, but he dared not touch her for fear that he would not be able to stop. Instead, he led her to the mini-sauna outside, near the pool.

He set the timer on his phone for thirty minutes and left it just outside the sauna’s glass door, so that he could hear the alarm when it went off. Just as they had seated themselves in the oven-hot enclosure, his phone vibrated against the glass, and the words “Incoming Call- Father” flashed on the screen.

“Fuck. He’s not going to stop.” He could feel his blood pressure rising. “I really hate him sometimes.”

Brienne was looking at him searchingly, encouraging him to continue speaking.

Jaime sighed. “I don’t hate him, but I do resent him. He’s never been warm, but he became very cold and detached after mother died. Cersei and I were six when she died giving birth to Tyrion. Father blamed him and took his anger out on him the most. He still does. He can’t stand that Tyrion is a little person, as if it’s shameful to be born with a disability. Fucking, narcissistic, and shallow prick that he is, he has always made Tyrion feel like there was something wrong with him, and never hesitates to remind him that he’s not wanted.” Jaime scowled. “Cersei is a lot like father. She blamed Tyrion too. She’s always been a bitch to him. I thought I could change her mind, broker peace between them, make it better somehow. Really, I just wanted everyone to get along. I also needed to believe that Cersei was capable of change. Cersei is my twin. She always said we were two halves of a whole. She made me believe that we couldn’t exist without each other. And I believed her, because I needed her. I clung to her for comfort. I wanted to believe her when she said we had a special bond that no one could touch. “

Brienne was looking at him with those gentle, sad, eyes and it made his chest ache.

“It started off innocently at first. We were inseparable, and often slept in the same bed, when we were small. It was only experimental touching… We didn’t know it was wrong, then. And it felt good. So, we kept doing it. I don’t know exactly when we realized we shouldn’t. Perhaps, it was when father caught us giggling under the covers one night, and he got so angry that he threw me against the wall and told me never to sleep in Cersei’s room again. ‘You are brother and sister.’ he yelled, as if that explained anything, as if that would _change_ anything. All it did was make us sneak around. There was a thrill in that too, like we had a secret world that only we could know about. We were thirteen when…”

Brienne’s eyes had gone wide with concern as she rested her hand on his forearm. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to...but...I’m here, listening, and… I’m not going anywhere.”

“I _do_ have to talk about this. I have to tell you. I’ve never told anyone but I _have_ to tell _you_.” He took a deep breath. “We were thirteen when we first fucked.” The word caught in his throat. “Gods, that sounds really terrible out loud.” He took a deep breath and gathered the courage to go on, to talk about this shameful thing that he had never told anyone. “We started fucking at thirteen and we didn’t stop. People began to suspect, and of course everyone assumed that I was the one controlling that situation, that because I’m the male I somehow seduced her, or had some powerful hold over her.” Jaime scoffed at that. “Nothing could be further from the truth. Cersei has always been emotionally stronger, and more cunning. Her will was always very strong, and she had no qualms about being cruel, if necessary, in order to get her way.”

Jaime shook his head to clear it and organize his thoughts. “We fought a lot as little kids, even punching and slapping each other at times, like all siblings do sometimes. But we grew up, and she never stopped. I stopped when I realized I was physically strong enough to hurt her, but she never _wanted_ to stop. She _wanted_ to hurt me, and she did, often. If I ever did anything she didn’t like, she would call me names, or dig her nails into my arm, or slap me. One time she threw a vase at me and knocked me out cold for five minutes.”

Brienne gasped and clung to his arm. “Jaime….”

“And yet, like an idiot, I kept going back to her. She’s my twin, my other half. I loved her. I thought she loved me. I thought that it was normal. I overlooked all of her cruelty and violence, and told myself that if I only loved her more, did things the way she wanted, made things easier for her, that someday everything would be ok and we would be happy together.” Jaime’s laugh was bitter.

“I really thought we were going to be together forever. But she never wanted that. Not the way I wanted it. Our house was so cold, and quiet, and empty…the only happiness I could find there was between her legs, or on the rare occasion she let me hold her…I thought that was love. But she always pushed me away. She told me it was so that no one would discover our secret, so no one would have reason to tear us apart. But I know now that was a lie. When I would tell her I wanted to run away and be together, she would tell me I was delusional. She said that it would never work, but what she really meant was, that she didn’t want that life. She didn’t want _me_, in that way.”

Jaime felt his throat tightening, and the heat in the room started to make it hard for him to take a deep breath, but he had to finish, he had to tell her all of it.

“I was always faithful to her. I thought she was my soulmate. I never wanted anyone else. But then, last year, before my accident, I found out that she had been sleeping with another guy, multiple guys really, but she had an official boyfriend, Robert Baratheon. When I confronted her, she called me an idiot, and told me that of course she needed to have a boyfriend…to get married, eventually….but we could still have _an arrangement._ I didn’t want a fucking _arrangement_. I wanted her.” 

His heartbeat sped up uncomfortably and he was starting to feel panicky. “Then, when the accident happened, she treated me like shit, like I was damaged goods, like I disgusted her. That’s when I realized that she never _really_ loved me. I don’t think she knows what love is. But I loved her. And it broke my heart.” 

His voice cracked. “I felt empty, useless, worthless… Just like my father and Cersei had always led me to believe I was….and maybe I am….maybe I have nothing to offer anyone…I am not smart…I’m impulsive…I have no real talents…football was all that I was ever good at…and now I don’t even have that…I’m a fuck up…and maybe... that’s all I will ever be…I’m a selfish, scatter-brained, pervy, stupid, fuck up…”

Brienne stood up and was holding his face in her hands. “Jaime, stop. Stop saying those things about yourself. They’re not true.”

Jaime shook his head and felt instantly lightheaded. His stomach lurched. He felt nauseous. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating really fast. There was a deep ache in his chest that made it hard to breathe. The room was too hot and everything started to spin. He needed air. He couldn’t breathe.

“Jaime, Jaime are you alright?” Her voice sounded muffled.

Jaime stood up and the world went dark. He felt himself fading, and falling, but she was there to catch him. Her strong arms grasped him by the shoulders and pulled him towards her. She held him up.

_Gods she’s strong. She won’t let me fall._

Brienne opened up the door to the sauna, and pulled him outside, into the cool night air. Then, she gently lowered both of them onto the floor and rested his head in her lap. When his vision returned, the first thing he saw was her startling blue eyes full of tenderness and fear. She ran her hands through his hair, and caressed his face, like he was something precious to her. 

“You ok? You scared me.”

He nodded before reaching up to grab her face.

_I need her. I want her, and only her._

Jaime felt something else, deep in his chest, it felt a lot like... _I love her._

Slowly, he pulled her face down to his lips. _She tastes like heaven._ Her tongue was sweet and tasted like vanilla and strawberries.

His mouth, tongue, and lips drank from her, like he was dying of thirst. He propped himself up and pulled her down until she was on the ground next to him. He licked her shoulder, and nipped at her neck, and suckled her jaw, and brought his mouth crashing down on hers, until they were both panting and writhing on the floor.

Jaime felt something hard and cold at his back. _It’s the pool._

Brienne’s skin felt cold. “It’s cold. We need to get warm.”

He grabbed Brienne’s arms and without detaching himself from her mouth, pulled them both into the warm pool. They stumbled down the steps, and into the water, until they were both waist deep. Her skin felt smooth, and sleek, and amazing against his chest.

She was panting and sliding her body up against his. His hands found the plains of her stomach and kneaded the skin there. He wanted to touch her, to feel her dripping and coming undone in his hands. Jaime skimmed his finger along the waistband of her underwear.

She moaned into his ear, “Please.” 

He slipped a hand inside of her paper thin underwear and plunged a finger into her core. She gasped in his mouth. 

He wanted her hands on him. “Brienne, touch me, please.”

She quickly slipped her hand into his boxer-briefs and wrapped her long fingers around him. 

“Fuck, that feels so good. Just stroke me. Up and down”, he mumbled into her neck.

She squeezed him firmly. Then, she began to slide her hand over him, slowly. 

“Yes, like that...faster...” Her hand was warm, and a little clumsy, but it felt amazing.

He slipped another finger in her. She soon found her rhythm and he tried to match it, imagining himself inside of her, hot, and wet and tight and ....

“FUCK!”

He came so hard that his knees buckled, but he made sure to keep his fingers pumping and coaxing, until he felt her clench around them, and scream his name into his shoulder. 

They bobbed in the water in each other’s arms for a few minutes. 

Brienne moved away a little, to lean on the side of the pool, and let her head hang back and rested it there off the side. 

Jaime felt a pang if guilt. “You look exhausted, Legs. Let’s get you dry and into bed. You need to sleep.”

Jaime started the fire in the bedroom suite, after changing into a dry pair of boxer briefs. Brienne came out of the bathroom in her tiny shorts and camisole, all long limbs, and big eyes, and covered in so many delicious freckles, he’d never be able to count them all at once. 

He pulled the covers for her to get into bed and slipped in beside her. She snuggled up close to him and put her head on his chest. 

Wrapping his arm around her, he said, “I’m sorry about earlier. You’ve had such a rough day, the last thing you need is for ME to dump MY shit all over you.”

She booped his nose with her index finger. “Shhhh...that’s what _girlfriends_ are for...”

“Hmmm, my girlfriend. I love the sound of that. Technically, you’re my first _official_ girlfriend.” 

“Is there a t-shirt for that?” she said with a smirk.

“If there is, I’m totally buying it for both of us.” He tickled her sides. 

She squealed and playfully slapped his hands away. 

They fell asleep moments later, still giggling under the covers. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some feasts are better than others. Enjoy! 😉

The smell of coffee and bacon assaulted Brienne the minute her eyes fluttered open. She noticed that Jaime was not in bed beside her, and took the opportunity to take a quick shower, and brush her teeth. She pulled on her black tights, black turtleneck, red-tartan skirt overalls, and her knee high boots before going to investigate the strange sounds that were coming from the kitchen. The sight that greeted her when she tiptoed in was equal parts arousing and hilarious.

Jaime was still in just his grey boxer briefs. His back was turned to her, so she could stare at his amazingly toned ass, legs, back, and shoulders, freely. It’s what he was doing with that amazing body that made her cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. He had Airpods in and appeared to be dancing. He was swaying his hips, shuffling his feet, and would beat the spatula in his hand, like a pair of drumsticks, over the pan of scrambled eggs every third or fourth beat. And the kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off around him. The counters were completely covered in flour, measuring cups and spoons, cutlery, plastic wrappings, egg shells, apple cores, and several plates that were piled high with pancakes, bacon, eggs, cut up fruit, and buttered toast. It was only when he turned around to place the last of the scrambled eggs onto the plate, that he noticed her standing there, and jumped back, dropping the spatula on the ground.

“FUCK! You scared me, Legs. You been there a while?”

“Long enough. Whatcha doin there? You think you made enough food?”

“Well, I didn’t know what you would want. So….I made everything.” He gave her a sheepish smile.

“Thank you. You are very sweet. AND quite the dancer…” She tried not to laugh but she just couldn’t help herself.

“What? I like to listen to music when I cook. The song was catchy!” His cheeks looked a little flushed.

“What was the song?”

“A remix rendition of ‘Bear and the Maiden Fair’. You know how they like to bring that one out for the holidays! Speaking of holidays, Happy Feast Day! Is that why you are dressed up so adorably?” He was giving her his best sideways smirk.

“This is not supposed to be adorable. It’s my attempt at irreverence”, she said, flatly.

“So, dressing up like a naughty school girl is irreverent? Because if so, I am SO DOWN with this irreverent look, and I hope that you feel irreverent every day!” He was definitely laughing at her now.

“That’s it, I’m going to change!”

He lunged at her and grabbed her by the waist, “Don’t you dare!” Then, he kissed her breathless.

As they ate their enormous breakfast, Jaime kept asking her questions about Tarth, stating that he wished he had more time to see some more of the island.

‘So, I was wondering if maybe you could reschedule your flight for tomorrow. Maybe you can show me around a bit and we can spend Feast Day here together. I had an idea for the perfect Feast Day celebration, it’s right up your irreverent alley.” He was grinning at her wickedly, for some unidentifiable reason.

“Well, I could, but that would cost a fortune, a fortune I don’t have.”

“Well, let’s say it wouldn't cost you a fortune, would you do it?”

“Yes…why?”

“Good, because I already got you a seat next to me on my flight, in first class, leaving tomorrow.”

‘WHAT? FLYING FIRST CLASS ON THE DAY AFTER FEAST DAY? THAT’S INSANELY EXPENSIVE!”

“No need to shout, Legs. There’s no sense in being rich, if you can’t spend the money on people you care about, and doing things you want to do.”

“Jaime…”

“Tut tut. It’s done. If I cancel now, I won’t get my money back anyway.”

“What if I had said no?” Brienne crossed her arms defiantly.

He shrugged. “Then, I would have pretended like it never happened.”

“Fine. But promise me that in the future you will check with me first? You may be used to spending stupid amounts of money on a whim, but I am not. I don’t want to feel like some charity case.” She felt herself getting genuinely angry.

“Charity case? That’s dumb. You’re my girlfriend. I just happen to have a lot of money and you don’t. So, if I choose to spend money on you, it’s because I WANT to, not because I feel sorry for you. It’s that simple.”

Brienne’s lips twitched in spite of herself. “You’re going to call me your girlfriend every chance that you get aren’t you?”

“You bet your ass I am! As a matter of fact, I was thinking of carrying around a sign whenever we are together in public.”

Brienne laughed and threw a grape at him. “Speaking of making things abundantly clear….” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I was hoping we could talk about what we’ve been doing the past few days.” She felt the heat creeping over her cheeks.

He feigned innocence. “Doing? What do you mean _doing_? Like going to funerals and fainting in saunas? Stuff like that?”

“Jaime! You know what I’m talking about…”

“Oh, you mean grocery shopping and eating meals together, right?” He popped the grape into his mouth and rolled it around with his tongue.

_Two can play at this game!_

She stood up from her chair and kneeled in front of him. “No, I mean stuff like this.” And she put her hand into his boxers so she could grab him for emphasis. He almost choked on his grape, which was very satisfying. Even more satisfying, was how he began to harden in her hand.

“Fuck. Ok, now I know what you mean.” He opened his legs wider, so she would have better access. “What about it?”

“Well, I think we should not rush anything.” His skin felt silky smooth, like velvet over hot steel, while she moved her hand over him.

“Oh, don’t worry. I have no intention of moving any faster than you are ready to move. As much as I want to fuck you, and make no mistake, I really, really, really want to fuck you, I have no intention of fucking _this_ up.”

Her stomach was doing flips at the thought of him wanting to fuck her. “The problem is…you’ve been in nothing but these boxer briefs alllll morning and that makes it really hard for me to concentrate on anything else. Are you trying to seduce me?” Her voice was low and husky. She pulled down on his boxers so she could see what she was working with. Brienne’s mouth went dry. He was NOT small.

“You’re accusing _me_ of seducing _you _right now?” But his laugh turned into a moan as she put him in her mouth.

He tasted a little salty but very clean, almost like chlorinated water. He was hot and smooth on her tongue. Brienne had no idea what she was doing, but Jaime seemed to be enjoying it, as he groaned his pleasure at her tentative exploration. She tried licking him and swirling her tongue around him. Then, she varied the pressure, as she tried different kissing and sucking techniques.

“You are KILLING ME! Oh Gods…”

Finally, she landed on something that made him throw his head back and thrust his hips up. So, she went with putting him in and out of her mouth while swirling her hand around the base of his cock. She increased the pace when he started holding onto the table for dear life. Brienne felt so fucking powerful! Nothing felt sexier than driving this god-like man wild with desire and watching him come apart in her hands and mouth.

_That’s right! Come for me!_

“Brienne I’m going to come. Oh, gods, FUCK!”

He was spilling in her mouth, so she swallowed to keep it contained, which he seemed to _really_ enjoy.

Jaime had melted into his chair. His eyes were half-hooded and his breathing was labored but he had a wry smile on his face. “It was the naughty school girl outfit wasn’t it?”

* * *

Jaime rented a car and Brienne showed him some of her favorite places to visit on Tarth. She took him to the famous Sapphire Beach, where they walked hand-in-hand down the boardwalk. Next, they visited the home of Duncan the Tall, whom was believed to be a Tarth family ancestor. Lastly, Brienne took him to the armory museum to see her two favorite swords, Oathkeeper and Widow’s Wail. Jaime enjoyed the museum so much that he bought himself a commemorative book.

On the way home, Jaime insisted on buying some more food for their “indoor picnic feast”. When they got back to the lodge, he placed the throw blanket on the floor, in front of the fire, and splayed the food out on big silver trays.

“Is this irreverent enough for you, Legs?”, he asked her with a sinful grin.

They feasted on crackers, cheese, nuts, carrots, grapes, apple slices, and some special cookies only found on Tarth. Jaime had insisted on buying champagne, which they drank from fancy champagne flutes.

He felt the alcohol going straight to his head, giving him a pleasant buzz. Brienne’s cheeks were flushed and she was leaning back on her elbows, with her legs stretched out in front of her. The fire and alcohol was making the room feel quite warm.

Jaime unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Brienne followed suit by unzipping her boots and pulling them off. He could not stop staring at her legs, they were just so outrageously long and toned.

She caught him staring and said, “What?”

“Oh, you just have a small tear in your tights.”

“Really? Where?”

He pulled her leg onto his lap. “Right here”, he said, running his hand down the side of her leg.

Brienne laid back and put her other leg on his lap as well. “Check the other side too.” Jaime obliged and ran his hand up all along the sides of her other leg, tracing them with his fingertips until he got to her thighs. “You know, I think in order to inspect these properly, I need to take them off.”

Brienne lifted her hips for him, as he tugged them off of her, slowly. Every inch of freckled skin he revealed sent a pulse of heat into his groin. Once off, he kissed his way from her calves, to the insides of her knees, stopping to lick the skin there, and then suckled his way up her inner thighs. Brienne was gasping and moaning. He saw her chest rising and falling in short breaths. The closer he got, the more she squirmed, and he couldn’t help but to stop and tease her a bit.

Jaime pulled on the sides of her underwear with his teeth, letting them skim her hips as he pulled them down one side, and then the other. Brienne propped on her elbows to look at him, and he grinned at her, before putting the fabric directly over her clit in his mouth and sucking on it. Brienne threw her head back and moaned.

Jaime could already taste her through it and it was driving him wild with anticipation.

_Who’s seducing whom?_

He pulled her underwear the rest of the way down and parted her legs with his shoulders. She was glistening and open for him. He used his tongue to lap at her in long lazy licks from bottom to top and back again. When she started thrusting her pelvis, he burrowed his face in further and drank from her opening. Brienne screamed his name.

He snuck a peek at her, and she looked magnificent; her eyes blazing-blue orbs of desire, her cheeks flushed, her skirt rucked up around her navel, and the rest of her, exposed and ready for him. He plunged his finger into her and watched as she arched her back and lifted her hips into his open mouth. He circled her clit with his tongue and she grabbed onto his head. When he picked up the pace, she pulled on his hair to keep him in place, and quivered beneath him.

_That’s right. Come for me._

And she did. She convulsed, and shuddered, and screamed her pleasure until she was a languid cluster of limbs on the blanket.

Jaime scooted his way up and kissed her gently on her sweet lips. “Happy Feast Day, Legs!”


	11. Chapter 11

The past couple of weeks had been a struggle. Brienne had to complete her regular classwork, as well as catch up on the assignments and tests that she had missed while dealing with her father’s loss and planning his funeral. In addition to all of that, Brienne was experiencing a problem that she had never had to deal with before in her entire life; she was constantly battling with herself about whether or not to have sex. Whenever she and Jaime got together, all she wanted to do was put her hands and mouth on him. It was like now that she knew how he felt on her skin, and on her tongue, she couldn’t go without it. They couldn’t even be in the same room without her feeling that fire in her belly and that deep ache between her legs.

A couple of times, they had had to sneak into the restricted books section in the library, so that he could finger her between the stacks. She had gone to his apartment a few times, wherein they had marathon oral sex sessions that were absolutely epic, and at first, that had seemed to be enough, but not anymore. His hands and mouth were amazing but they felt like a temporary fix. They were like a prelude to a song she never got to hear. She found herself dreaming about him being inside of her, while awake.

Jaime never pressured her to do anything. She knew that he wanted to do more, but he appeared to be happy to go on the way they were. Brienne, however, was no longer sure why they should. Her initial reticence had seemed like the common sense thing to do. She was never one to rush into anything, and intercourse had seemed like a monumental milestone. Now, it seemed like a silly technicality. How could intercourse be more intimate than what they had already done? Perhaps, once they had full blown sex, she could stop thinking about it so much. Maybe, it was just like an itch you had to scratch. Maybe, she had blown it up to be this big thing in her head for no reason.

On this particular night, they sat in the library, at their usual table, and Jaime kept running his hands through his hair with his long fingers, the ones that always managed to find that deep spot inside of her she could never reach with her own. He was biting his lip in concentration, and every time he leaned forward, she would get a whiff of his aftershave. His body was calling to her with every movement and all of her senses were attuned to him.

Brienne pulled her eyes away and found herself looking at the coffee he had brought her, just the way she liked it, just because he knew she’d been up late the night before, studying, and would need the caffeine. She thought about the way he always walked her to her dorm, even though it was out of his way. She thought about how he looked at her, like she was something precious to him. She thought about how he made her feel safe, and cared for, and…._I love him._

Suddenly, all of the reasons she had come up with before to postpone seemed inconsequential. A surge of heated urgency flashed through her entire body and made her bold. She leaned in over the table and he looked up at her, with those lovely green eyes, and gave her a sweet smile.

_You want this. Just tell him._

“Jaime, I think we need to fuck.”

He looked a little shocked, but he quickly recovered, and a cocky grin spread across his face. “What? Here, now?”

“Soon.”

“Wait, you’re serious?

“Yes.”

“Brienne…”, his voice had gone low and raspy.

“Jaime.” She reached across the table and rubbed her thumb over his hand.

“You sure?” He was searching her face for certainty.

“Never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

“Shit. Why do I suddenly feel like the virgin here?” He was grinning but he sounded nervous.

“Because you are. You’ve never done this with anyone other than her, and that experience was nothing like what we have.” His eyes went wide and he gripped her hand tight.

“And you’re scared. I was scared too, but then I realized that I trust you more than I trust anyone else. I realized that this is a natural progression of how two people express their feelings towards one another. It’s a good thing. And I am ready, if you are ready.”

“Fuck yeah, I’m ready. I just didn’t want to scare you away. You can be kind of skittish sometimes and my single-minded determination to get the things that I want can, be a bit much at times.” He laughed, “So like, do we write a date down on the calendar or something?”

“How about tonight?”

“Tonight? Eager aren’t we?”, he laughed raising his eyebrows at her. 

“Well, I can’t concentrate on my classwork and I have a test coming up. At this rate, if I spend any more time thinking about this, I’m going to fail all of my classes.”

“Wow, I would be slightly offended at how casually you are taking all of this, if you hadn’t just admitted that you think about fucking me all of the time.” He was looking at her with his predatory grin.

“All. Of. The. Time!”

He stood up and grabbed her hand. “Ok. That’s it, we gotta go, or you’re going to force me to fuck you here on this table.”

She smiled at him wickedly. “That sounds really hot actually!”

“FUCK! Brienne!” He crashed his mouth onto hers as he shoved books into his backpack.

Rather than walk the ten blocks to his apartment, Jaime called a car service. In the back seat of the car he devoured her mouth and sucked on her neck. His hands slipped under her sweater. “I can’t wait to be inside you.” He panted into her ear. Brienne’s blood was boiling. The feel of his breath in her ear, and hands all over her body, were making her lose reason.

She was breathless by the time they got to his building. In the elevator, he pressed her against the back wall and unbuttoned her jeans, sneaking his hand inside of her underwear, and parting her folds with his index finger. “So wet” he murmured into her neck. Brienne shivered. He circled her clit with his finger and licked behind her ear, before suckling on her earlobe.

“Want you so bad.” He pressed himself into her just as the elevator doors opened.

He dragged her to his apartment door and swiped them in. Before the door even closed, he was on her again. Jaime grabbed her face and crushed his mouth into hers. She deepened the kiss. Their tongues were scorching hot as they warred inside of their mouths.

Jaime snaked his hands down her body. He unzipped her jeans and tugged them down with urgency. She fumbled with her shoes until she managed to push them off with her heals. In one swift motion, he pulled her jeans the rest of the way off, as she quickly stepped out of them. His hands were warm and he kneaded her thighs on his way back up. Like a lion pouncing on its prey, he yanked her underwear down and lifted her leg over his left shoulder.

Brienne had to hold onto his head for balance, as he took her into his mouth, and she felt her other leg buckle. _Oh, gods! _He was nipping, and sucking, and swirling his tongue over her clit before he plunged it inside of her.

“JAIME!”

He lifted his head and put her leg down, but only so he could plunge his fingers were his tongue had been. With his other hand, he pulled on her sweater. Brienne’s hands were shaking but they both fumbled to get it off. Then, his mouth was on her breasts over her bra, hot, and wet, and suckling on them until she screamed again.

Her entire body felt like she was on fire. Brienne lifted a leg and wrapped it around the back of his thighs to pull him close. Jaime used the hand that was not inside of her, to cup her ass and walk her back onto the couch. He leaned both of their bodies into it until he had her resting on it. Then, he quickly pulled off his shoes and clothes, throwing them all over the room in his haste.

Brienne realized that she was lying on the couch splayed wide open. However, she couldn’t feel self-conscious about it under his heated gaze. He was staring at her like she was the best thing he had ever seen, like he wanted to consume her.

“So fucking sexy!”, he said, as he dove down on top of her, kissing, and nipping, and rocking into her all at once, so she couldn’t think straight, until all she felt was skin, and heat, and want.

“Jaime..”She didn’t recognize her own voice. It was so breathless, almost a whimper.

Brienne ran her hands down the plains of his muscular back and glided them over his firm ass. He felt so smooth and hard, sturdy and lean. She bit at his collarbone, and nipped her way to his shoulder, as he rocked into her. He snuck his hand back into her opening and plunged into her with every push of his hips.

She came undone.

Before she could come back to herself, his mouth was on her again. All of her senses were desperately tuned into where his tongue was sucking on her until she felt the pressure building anew. He blew on her clit, and nuzzled his head further into her. She fell apart once more.

Brienne felt boneless. Her entire body was covered in sweat. Her breaths were coming in short but fast bursts. However, Jaime was relentless, like a man possessed. He licked his way up her body, until he came to her mouth, and whispered against her lips, “I need to be inside you.”

“Yes.”, was all she could manage to say.

He lifted her up and carried her to his bed. Gently, he laid her down, before reaching into his side table for something. She saw him roll the condom on. Brienne would have thought to be nervous, if she wasn’t a ball of raw nerve endings.

Jaime kneeled between her legs and looked at her. Her stomach clenched and swooped. He was so beautiful, and he was hers. He wanted her. Jaime wanted her and he was going to take her.

“Fuck, you look so good like this.”

He gently spread her knees a little wider, before placing himself at her entrance. He circled her clit with his thumb, slowly, as he inched himself in.

The pressure felt odd but good. Like he was filling and stretching a space inside of her that ached for him to be there, but only ended up aching more desperately, when he finally was inside of her.

”Jaime, please.” 

He kept inching his way in, until he was impossibly deep inside of her, but then, he gave one big thrust, and buried himself even deeper. Brienne gasped. It wasn’t painful really, but it felt uncomfortable to be this full, this stretched.

“You ok?” He managed to say with clenched teeth. “You are so tight. Oh gods, you feel amazing.”

Her insides melted under the molten heat of his words. She rocked her hips experimentally, drawing a hiss out of his lips. He buried his face into her neck, and rocked his hips back into hers, very slowly. A sharp wave of pleasure rose from her core, up and into, her belly.

He rocked a few more times inside of her, before he could lift his head, and look into her eyes. “Brienne, oh gods, Brienne.”

“Jaime.”

He kissed her so softly and tenderly, that she began to melt all over again. The pace of his movements changed. Something in the way he was touching her, and kissing her, and moving in her, felt different from before. This felt reverential, like he was worshiping every inch of her.

_I love him so much!_

He increased the rhythm of his thrusts and her hips rose to meet them. Their bodies collided, glided, and slipped, until she was quivering for release beneath him.

Jaime lifted her right leg, so that he could bury himself even deeper, and found a spot that made her scream. He grinned wickedly at her, and sought to elicit more screams, by pushing into her again, harder and deeper. When she did scream again, he moaned, and picked up the pace. She felt her walls clenching around him agonizingly tight, before releasing, and sending spasms of pleasure to every nerve ending. Jaime responded by growling into her thigh, and thrusting again, before he collapsed on top of her.

He kissed her softly and rolled off of her to discard the condom. Then, he pulled her into him, and laid his head on her breast.

“Jaime?”

“Hmmmm?”

“That was…”

“Amazing? Really good? A stellar performance?” He was chuckling.

“I was gonna say round one, but ok, we’ll go with those too.”

He lifted his head and looked at her with something like amazement. “I would be a little hurt, if I wasn’t so turned on right now. Shit, _you_ are _definitely_ the one corrupting _me_. I gave you all of my inner warrior, and all you can say is you want to go again? I’ll take it as a compliment. I understand, you just can’t get enough.”

“Inner warrior?”

“You know it!”

“You are the worst!”

And they both laughed, until they fell asleep in each other's arms, again.


	12. Chapter 12

Brienne had been partially correct. Now, that she and Jaime had started having all-out sex, it _was_ easier for her to concentrate in class, and focus on her assignments when she was alone. When they were together though, the intensity between them was all-consuming, which is why Brienne had decided to go on birth control. This way, when she was showering in his apartment, he could come into the stall and slip inside of her, as she wrapped one leg around his waist and clung to his neck. Or he could bend her over his kitchen counter and take her from behind, not even waiting to take her shorts off first, just pulling them to the side, before burrowing himself in deep. Or she could climb onto his lap on the couch, during a movie, and he’d hastily pull her leggings off of her hips while she pulled his cock out of his shorts, so she could ride him.

Or like this morning, he could wake up behind her and nuzzle his head into her neck, groin pressed firmly into her backside, hands fondling her breasts.

“Good morning.” Jaime had mumbled sleepily.

Then, he had kissed the juncture between her neck and shoulder, which always made her shiver. His hands had rolled her nipples until they puckered. Brienne had arched her back and pressed herself more firmly against him, while he growled into her ear.

Next, his hand had slipped down to her cunt.

“So wet. Always ready for me.” He had said as he pushed her legs apart a little with his own, and pulled her hips back with the hand that was still cupping her, so he could place himself at her entrance and glide inside.

Brienne had gasped and he had groaned, when he thrust achingly-slow inside of her. Hard and fast was incredibly hot and satisfying, but this slow rhythm, when he was so deep inside of her, made her absolutely weak. They could keep it going for a long time, until they were both quivering and writhing together. Then, all it would take was a few hard thrusts, before she shattered into a million pieces in his arms.

She always knew when they were getting close, because she could hear his breathing pick up and all of her muscles would tighten in anticipation. This was her favorite part; when they finally did come, he would pull the covers back over them, and they would usually go back to sleep, without bothering to disentangle themselves from one another.

Brienne woke up later that morning feeling warm and happy. Jaime had an arm thrown over his head and the other was around her waist. Somehow, she had ended up curled into his side, in her usual fetal position. He looked so peaceful she hated to wake him, but it was getting late, and they had a lot to do.

“Jaime, wake up. We have to buy the stuff for the ‘Winter Solstice’ celebration tonight.”

He barely opened his eyes to look at her as he said, “Five more minutes. It’s cold out there” and pulled her in tight.

“Jaime, all the good wreaths are going to be gone. We already waited until the last minute. Come on!” She pinched his nipple, which managed to make him open one eye wide to look at her.

“Don’t start anything you can’t finish, Legs.”

“Ok, fine. I’ll go make some coffee and bring you some.”

He grabbed her waist and held on. “Noooo, the bed is going to get cold.” But she managed to disentangle herself and laughed as she heard him say, “You’re a cruel woman!”

She put on the robe and slippers she kept in his bathroom and brushed her teeth before seeing to breakfast. Brienne made coffee and warmed up the spiced fruit bread she had brought over, the one her father always used to buy to eat on Winter Solstice morning. She squeezed some oranges for fresh orange juice, and made her dad’s holiday breakfast specialty, sausage and potato hash.

Brienne put everything onto a tray, with two forks, so they could share together in bed. Jaime sat up when he felt her put the tray down beside him.

“Happy Winter Solstice Day!”

“Thank you! Wow, what’s all this?” He was smiling and wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

“It’s a Tarth family tradition.”

Jaime looked a little sad as he said, “Must be nice. Our dad left us to fend for ourselves, and then, dragged us to the sept for that horrifically long three hour service.”

“At least you’re not from the North where they have that ‘Winter is Coming’ three day prayer and fast thing.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Damn, this is good, Legs.” He fed her some hash after shoveling some more into his mouth. “So, what else is a Tarth family tradition?”

“Well, we decorate wreaths and hang them all over, along with twinkly white lights, and we make snowflakes while we listen to all of those old, sad, ‘Long Night’ songs.”

“Yeah, ‘Jenny Oldstones’ always gets to me.”

“Oh my gods, that song is so beautiful! It’s my favorite!”

He smiled at her brightly. “Ok, so we’ll do all the things. Where shall we go for the wreaths? Baelishes’ Holiday Outlet?”

“Gods no, I hate that man. He’s such a crook. Let’s go to Seaworth’s Seasons.” Brienne fed Jaime some spiced fruit bread.

“Holy shit that’s tasty! What is this?” His eyes went wide as he squirreled away the rest of the bread to shove it in his mouth.

“You’ve never had spiced fruit bread? For a rich kid, you were really deprived, huh? You’ve probably never decorated a wreath either?”

He shook his head no. “Our maids did that.”

“Hung up the lights?”

“Nope.”

“What about presents at midnight?” She was getting really sad now.

“Oh yeah, we got those, but they were usually ridiculously expensive stuff my father’s buyer ordered from a catalogue. They never meant anything.”

“Oh, Jaime!” Brienne couldn’t help but lean in and give him a big hug. “This year will be different!”

“Yeah. There was no way I was going to spend ‘Winter Solstice’ at Casterly Rock this year. I told him I wanted to spend it with you.”

Brienne was concerned now. “How’d he take it?”

Jaime shrugged, “The usual way. But I appeased him by making a deal he couldn’t refuse.”

“Ok. Sounds ominous.”

Jaime jumped out of bed and pulled on his boxer briefs. “Let’s get cracking! We have a lot of work to do!”

* * *

That evening Jaime helped Brienne hang white lights all over the apartment. They decorated wreaths with tiny glass snowflakes, cherries, and tiny wooden figurines of silver crescent moons, golden suns, and golden lions. They hung the wreaths on all of the doors they could find, before they busied themselves cutting out snowflakes from shiny white paper.

Holiday music was playing softly from his phone on the coffee table, while Brienne was sitting on the floor, with her legs crossed, under a cluster of white lights surrounding the bookshelves in his living room. She was diligently folding and cutting paper while taking sips of hot spiced-ale from a mug. Her blonde hair looked silvery white and glowed brightly under the holiday lights. Her blue eyes sparkled. She was wearing a dark-green, long-and-flowy-sleeved, maxi dress that fell mid-calf. She paired it with a ruffled black scarf she had told Jaime belonged to her mother, black tights, and black Mary Janes. 

Jaime was sitting across from her and was having trouble not staring. She just looked so beautiful. The warmth and domesticity of the moment was making him emotional, and sentimental, in a way he had never experienced before. He was happy. He was very happy.

Brienne looked up at him with a curious expression on her face. “You ok?”

“Never better. Want to hang some of these up?”

Brienne nodded and they proceeded to cover the ceiling with dangling snowflakes. When they hung up the last one, he kissed her and said, “I love what you’ve done with the place. Maybe we should keep these up forever.”

She smiled warmly at him. “Are you ready for the Sheppard’s pie and winter squash?” She straightened his tie and shirt collar. “Thank you for dressing up, even though we aren’t going anywhere. It just feels more festive. Don’t you think?”

He gave her a smirk. “Absolutely, and it’s also a lot more fun to unwrap you when you’re wearing this many clothes.”

Brienne slapped his arm playfully. “Don’t start that, I made dinner and it has to be eaten hot or it gets soggy and gross.”

Jaime put his hands up, “I’ll be good.”

They ate their dinner at his dining room table, which Brienne had decorated with a wreath and two candles in glass candlestick holders. For dessert she brought out ‘Winter’s Lace’ cookies, which he was told, was another Tarth tradition. They ate them on the couch with more spiced-ale.

Brienne looked up at him shyly. “So, I got you something. It’s nothing expensive. I couldn’t get anything close to being as awesome as the real thing but…”

“I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She went to her suitcase in the bedroom and brought out a long box wrapped in silvery snowflake paper.

Jaime raised a curious eyebrow but he could feel the smile spreading over his face. He unwrapped it as Brienne watched him closely. Inside, was a beautiful replica of Widow’s Wail. Jaime felt his eyes sting a little. “It’s beautiful. I love it!”

“I have Oathkeeper in a box in storage, but maybe I’ll take it out and we can hang them up here together, at your place.”

Jaime’s heart squeezed tight and his voice was laced with emotion. “I would love that. Seriously, Brienne, thank you. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. My gift can’t possibly compete with this.”

He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a rectangular, red velvet, box wrapped in a golden bow.

Brienne looked apprehensive, “Jaime….that looks expensive...”

“Don’t worry about that. Just open it.”

She took the box from him and unfastened the bow. Opening the box slowly, she gasped. “Jaime! Oh my gods! This must have cost a fortune…” Brienne pulled out a silver necklace and earrings, each inlaid with two inch square-cut sapphires.

“I can afford it. They made me think of your eyes.”

She looked at him with tears in them. “No one has ever bought me anything this exquisite before. I love them.”

“Here, let me put them on.”

Brienne unwrapped her scarf so he could place the necklace around her throat. He kissed each of her earlobes, before putting on the earrings, and saw her visibly shiver under his touch.

“They look perfect. And you can wear them for the end of the year gala.”

Brienne looked at him suspiciously, “What end of the year gala?”

“Well, remember that deal I told you I made with my father?” Brienne nodded. “The deal is that he wants me and you to attend this end of the year gala he hosts every year to wine and dine his business associates. He was upset that I’ve missed two family holidays in a row, and the only way I could appease him, was to promise him he could get to meet you at the gala. He’s been pestering me to bring you to his office here in King’s Landing for a while now. The gala is pretty pretentious and stuffy, and I hate it, but I figured you’d have to meet Tywin at some point, and this is the least threatening environment I could think of to do it in. I hope that’s ok. Sorry.”

Brienne’s brows were creased. “Ok. It sounds terrifying, but ok. If you said we’d go, we’ll go. I don’t have a dress for something like that though.”

“I can buy you a….”

“Absolutely not. My dad didn’t leave behind a lot of money, but I have enough to buy a dress. I’ll just drag Margaery with me to one of those Thrift Shops were they only sell fancy vintage clothes. I’m sure I’ll find something there. Or, I can pull a ‘Gone with the Wind’ and wrap myself up in curtains.”

Jaime grabbed her by the waist and pulled on her maxi dresses’ belt, “Sounds hot! Or, you can wear my silk sheets too if you want… “

“Jaime…” she was giving him a warning look.

“What? I promised I would be good, but I didn’t say how long that would last. I need to take you out of these clothes now. I’ll leave the sapphires on. You should always be wearing those. They suit you.” 

“Ok, but don’t you dare bring the sword into the bed with us.”

“Damn, foiled again! Can I just pose with it naked?”

“Sure. Sounds dangerous though, wouldn’t want to cut anything important off.”

“Good point!”

Jenny Oldstones began to play in the background. “Want to dance to this horribly depressing song with me, Legs?”

The corners of her mouth pulled up a little, “I don’t dance.”

“Let’s pretend you do.”

And so, she did.


	13. Chapter 13

The dress for the gala was simply stunning. Brienne was in awe of Margaery’s resourcefulness. It turned out, that none of the vintage gowns at the thrift stores fit her six foot three, and muscular, frame, which was no surprise really, considering how petite women were back in the day the clothes were made. When Brienne became discouraged, Margaery took her to her grandmother’s tailor in King’s Landing. He suggested that she look through his many trunks of estate sale dresses and find something he could alter to fit her. She ended up finding one that was a little too short in the torso, and several inches too short in length at the bottom, but he assured her that he could take it out some, and add beaded organza over the skirt to make it fit properly. 

Brienne put it on, and instantly, felt like she was transported to another time and place. The bodice consisted of two very long strips of silvery-blue, ruched, chiffon that crossed in the front and tied around her neck. The neckline came down low enough to make her look like she had cleavage, but not low enough to be scandalous. The back of the gown however, made her blush. It plunged down to her tailbone, and the only scrap of cloth covering her back, was the excess chiffon material dangling from the bow around the nape of her neck. Margaery insisted that she borrow her sapphire brooch, in the shape of a silver branch with little blue flowers, which she dangled from a long silver chain she could wear as an open-back dress accessory, to match the sapphire jewelry Jaime had given her. Brienne wasn’t sure if the brooch drew attention away from her open back, or accentuated it. Margaery insisted it was perfect. The skirt of the dress was also made of silvery-blue chiffon, in an empire cut that came a few inches short of the ground. It had a slit on the right side that came up mid-thigh, and exposed some of her leg, when she walked. The tailor had added a sheer-silver organza overlay, with minimal beading, that swept the ground as she walked. The beading was in the shape of small silver starbursts and they sparkled when they caught the light. Margaery had declared that she “looked like an ice queen” in the gown. 

Her silver strappy heels were only an inch high to make sure that the dress was long enough to cover them. Brienne’s hair had grown out a few inches in the front. Margaery curled it for her and pinned some of the curls on one side with bobby-pins in the shape of silver starbursts. She also applied Brienne’s makeup so that it accentuated her eyes, but this time, Margaery would not back down when it came to also applying some blush-colored lipstick.

Brienne had to admit this was the best she had ever looked, but she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about her flaws, anyway. There would be many beautiful women at the gala and she was sure she would stick out like a huge sore-thumb. Of course, Margaery told her she was being ridiculous. She insisted that, if anything, Brienne looked like a goddess, and that all of the other women would be jealous of her statuesque height and radiant elegance.

As she put on her coat to meet Jaime downstairs, Brienne couldn’t help but worry about what his father would think of her. She had been agonizing over this meeting since Jaime had told her about it. Tywin had a reputation as a hard and imposing man. The fact that he wanted to meet her, either boded well for her, or very ill. Surely, he wanted to ascertain if she was good enough for his son. She knew Jaime didn’t really care what his father thought of her, but Brienne desired to make a good impression on him, and perhaps ease the added tension her presence in Jaime’s life had created among them. Certainly, she would try her best not to embarrass herself, or offend the man in any way.

Then, there was the matter of meeting Jaime’s other relations, in particular, Tyrion and his aunt Genna, both of whom he seemed to be very fond of. She was excited to meet them but it was nerve wracking to imagine what they would think of her. Jaime had warned her that Tyrion could be crass and over-familiar at times, and that his aunt, was meddlesome, but only with the best of intentions.

Finally, she was exceedingly concerned about running into Cersei. The woman was loathsome and cruel. Brienne was sure that any interaction between them would be fraught with unpleasantness. Jaime was not sure if she would be in attendance, but he had no reason to believe she wouldn’t.

The anxiety in the pit of her stomach was growing as she waited for Jaime’s car service driver to pull up to her building. It had started to snow a little, and her feet were freezing, but the night air was helping to cool down her burning cheeks and ease her rattled nerves.

After a few more minutes of ruminating over her agonizing self-doubt, the black Lincoln town car pulled up, and Jaime jumped out. He was wearing a perfectly tailored black tuxedo and bow-tie. His hair was slicked back and his smile was award-winning. Brienne felt star-struck.

He pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed her gently on the cheek. “You look amazing! And nervous. Really nervous.”

Brienne took comfort in his arms and drew a deep breath. “I’m pretty sure I am about three seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack.”

Jaime hugged her tighter. “I wish I could tell you that your fears are unfounded but you are about to walk into the Lion’s den. You can’t let them smell your fear or they will devour you. You are a million times better than all of them put together. Don’t ever let them make you feel any differently. The good news is that I will be there suffering with you. The bad news is that my family members will also be there, making sure we suffer. My father is a stickler for propriety though, especially in front of these guests, and he won’t let anything too untoward happen, if he can help it.”

Brienne looked at him. “Your tone sounds different already.”

“Yes, I can’t help it. I slip into proper Lannister-speak whenever I am sucked into their vortex. I had only the best brainwashing that money can buy, after all. ” He sounded bitter and cold. Brienne shuddered to think that this was the Jaime he had portrayed to the world for so many years.

Then, just as soon as that Jaime had appeared, he was gone. He looked at her with gentle eyes and tugged her playfully into the car. “Come on, Legs. Let’s get in. You must be freezing in those shoes.”

The catering hall was enormous and hundreds of insanely rich and gorgeously attired people were pouring into it. Jaime held Brienne’s hand tight as they walked in. She slipped out of her coat so that he could check it. She heard him inhale sharply as his eyes roamed up and down her body.

“Brienne, you look stunning! That dress is amazing!” His eyes glowed warmly in appreciation. When he put his hand on the small of her back to walk them towards the coat check, he stopped dead in his tracks, and let it slip down a little further. Then, he took a small step back, so he could glance at her from behind.

Jaime leaned in and spoke huskily in her ear, “Are you trying to torture me? How am I supposed to walk around pretending I want to do anything other than bend you over the nearest table and fuck you, when you’re looking like that? My gods, this dress should be illegal. Don’t misunderstand, I love it, but it’s literally going to kill me.”

Brienne felt the heat pooling in her lower belly, and the blush creeping down her face, into her chest. “Your father won’t think it’s inappropriate will he?”

He whispered heatedly into her ear, “I really don’t give a flying fuck what he thinks. You look amazing, and if he dares to suggest otherwise, he will have me to contend with.”

“Jaime, please promise me that you will try to be civil. I want to make a good impression and I won’t be able to do that if you jump down his throat whenever he says anything.”

“I promise to be a proper gentleman but I won’t let him hurt you.” He put an arm around her waist, possessively, and guided her to the ballroom entrance.

As Jaime checked their coats, Brienne gathered up all of her courage to enter the ballroom, by standing as tall as possible. If she was going to be in Jaime’s life, she needed to get used to being in these types of situations, and find a way to handle them. Her eyes scanned the room. It was full of high society people in clothes she could never afford, talking about things for which she had no frame of reference.

_How am I going to do this?_

Then, she saw a very short, blond, young man, in a tuxedo waving at her. _Tyrion._

They walked towards each other and his smile only grew warmer upon approach. “You must be Brienne?”

“Yes, and you must be Tyrion?”

“None other. We make an unmistakable pair to be sure. My brother told me that you were striking, and he did not exaggerate. You look stunning, but I fear that I will get a crick in my neck looking at you all night, in that dress.” He gave her a salacious wink.

Brienne felt herself blushing just as Jaime came up next to them.

“Is my brother scandalizing you already?” Jaime bent down and gave Tyrion a warm pat on the shoulder. “He fashions himself to be very witty, but sometimes, he’s just plain rude.”

“I was on my best behavior, dear brother. I was just telling your lady how beautiful she looks in that gown.” Tyrion had on the same wicked grin that Jaime often wore. Brienne could see that the family resemblance, at least in this regard, was unmistakable.

“So, you admit that you are trying to steal my girlfriend?” Brienne felt herself turning crimson.

“I don’t believe this lady could be stolen by anyone, especially not by someone of my stature. Brienne, my brother tells me you are an English Literature major. I am quite fond of reading myself. Perhaps, you could recommend something. I am always looking for a good book to read.” Brienne could tell that he was trying to make her more comfortable, and she instantly knew that they would get along well together.

Just as they were discussing the merits of modern over post-modern literature, Tywin Lannister made his presence known. He was almost as tall as Jaime but twice as imposing. His countenance was severe and he looked at them with a cold sense of superiority that was unrivaled in all of Westeros, possibly in the entire world. 

“Tyrion. Jaime.” Tywin nodded at them sharply. “And this must be Brienne. Ms. Brienne…?” He was looking at her questioningly, and pointedly ignoring Jaime.

“Tarth. My name is Brienne Tarth. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lannister.” She held out her hand to shake his and he bowed his head slightly, before grasping it and curling his fingers around it, making no attempt to shake it. Brienne felt that somehow she had already broken some unspoken rule of etiquette.

“Ms. Tarth, as in Sapphire Isles Tarth?” He quirked an eyebrow up at her.

“Yes. I was born there but I live in King’s Landing now.”

“Ah, yes. Jaime informed me of the unfortunate passing of your father, recently. My condolences, Ms. Tarth.” His eyes did not match the warmth of his words.

“Thank you. He was a good man but he suffered greatly in his last years. It is somewhat comforting to know that he is at peace now.”

“To be sure. One must be careful, as a businessman myself, I often worry about how the stresses of the job are affecting my health. Tell me, were your father’s business matters as taxing as mine?”

Brienne could feel Jaime stiffen beside her. She glanced over at him and he was giving his father a warning look. “I can’t imagine they were. Managing a few fishing vessels cannot compare to managing a business empire like yours.”

Brienne saw Jaime slump a little. Clearly, she had said the wrong thing. Tywin Lannister’s eyes seemed to visibly sharpen and pin her with his scrutinizing gaze.

“Fishing vessels? I see. Jaime did not specify the nature of your father’s business ventures. Dealing with sailors, and workmen alike, does take its toll, I’m sure. I won’t minimize his workload, even if it is not comparable to mine. And what of your family estate? Did it pass on to your mother or must you oversee its management?”

It was becoming abundantly clear where this line of inquiry was heading and she knew that she would not pass this test. “We don’t have a family estate, sir. It was entailed to my great uncle’s family, and sold, a long time ago.”

“Oh dear, so how do your family and you support yourselves? King’s Landing University is quite expensive, I would know.” Tywin disdainfully glanced at Jaime.

“Well, my mother and brother are deceased. My father was fortunate enough to have been able to leave me some money, to live off of, but a lot of it had to go to the nursing home where he lived out his last remaining years. Mostly, I am grateful to KLU for having given me a scholarship and a living expenses stipend.“ Brienne stuck out her chest proudly. She would not let this man make her feel badly about her father’s accomplishments, or her own, for that matter.

She could see a small smirk working its way onto Jaime’s face.

“Ah, so you are a scholar. Ms. Tarth, I hope that some of your study habits are rubbing off on my son. I do hope his grades have improved. Some of these business management graduate programs and internships are quite competitive.” He was glaring at Jaime now with something almost like a sneer on his face.

Brienne felt very protective of Jaime and would not stand for him to be belittled right in front of her. “I assure you that Jaime doesn’t need my help, sir. He is very studious. When I met him, he was a regular attendee in the library study zone. It’s just easier to apply oneself to things that one finds interesting. I believe that business administration may not be his calling.”

“Is that right?” Tywin was looking at her very coldly, now. “And what would you suggest, Ms. Tarth?”

“Something that makes him happy. We do want him to be happy, don’t we, Mr. Lannister?”

Tywin scoffed, “Happiness is overrated. You can’t eat it and you certainly can’t pass it onto your children in your will.”

Brienne gave him an equally cold look. “In that we must disagree. I believe we can pass it on to our children, if only we have the mind to try.”

Tywin gave her a withering look, and then dismissed her, with a sharp nod of his head. “If you will excuse me, Ms. Tarth. I see that there is a dear business partner that I haven’t greeted yet. Perhaps, you and I can continue this conversation, another time.”

“Certainly, Mr. Lannister.” She nodded her head back in an equally dismissive manner.

She heard Tyrion whistle as his father walked away. “Wow. I have never seen anyone cut Tywin Lannister down to scale like that. Bravo. Although, beware, the old lion might be battered, but he is not so easily beaten.”

“I just couldn’t let him talk about my family or about Jaime like that.” Brienne turned to Jaime who had a look of utter pride and adoration on his face.

He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered in her ear, “I am so turned on right now, Legs. You have no idea. I am definitely searching this place for sturdy, fuck-worthy, surfaces.”

“Shhhhh…” she felt her face turning crimson again, but her insides were melting at his words of adulation.

Jaime grabbed her arm and escorted her to their table, when the lights dimmed, and called them to dinner. The meal went smoothly and pleasantly enough. Brienne could feel herself relaxing, as she had somehow made it out of the snares Tywin Lannister had set for her, in one piece. She even got to chat with Genna Lannister a little, whom seemed to be pleasant, if a little opinionated. 

After dinner, Jaime charmed her into dancing with him. She was confiding to him that she was almost having a good time, when she saw Cersei, and a man she assumed was Robert Baratheon, walk into the ballroom. Cersei looked flawless in a red sequined, floor-length, mermaid gown that accentuated all of her curves perfectly. Her blonde hair was cascading around her stunning face in soft curls. The expression on her face was strained though, as she appeared to be trying to keep her inebriated fiancé from falling over.

Jaime saw that Brienne’s attention was riveted by something behind him. So, he turned around to investigate. “Shit. There goes the party. Maybe we should go. Quit while we’re ahead.”

Brienne had no desire to interact in any way with Cersei, so she could only nod in agreement. “Sounds good to me. I’m partied out anyway. Let me just go to the bathroom real quick.”

As Brienne was washing her hands she saw Cersei come into the bathroom.

_Fuck._

Cersei stepped up to the mirror, right beside her. “Ugh, I do hate these gatherings. It’s such a chore to find something to wear. Although, I’m sure some of us have a harder time than others.” She glanced at Brienne in the mirror. “That’s quite the gown my dear. How ever did you find something in your size?”

Brienne gave her a stern look. “Clothes come in all sorts of sizes these days.”

“Yes, I did forget that transvestites do have a lovely selection of apparel to choose from in their sizes but their tastes do seem to be a bit on the gaudy side. A pity that your people’s bodies don’t lend themselves to more elegant fashion choices.” Cersei’s grin was cruel and petulant.

“I know what you’re trying to do. I am aware of what I look like, but _some _people don’t care about outward appearances, as much as others.”

Cersei laughed at her. “Oh honey, everyone cares about outward appearances. Just because my brother now prefers the company of men, doesn’t make you any more desirable as a woman.”

“You said it. He prefers _my _company, as mannish as it might be.”

“For now. Don’t you think he’ll wake up one day and realize he’s wasting his time with an ugly oaf like you, when he can be with someone beautiful?”

Brienne’s hands were starting to shake. “Beautiful like you, you mean?”

“Yes, someone _exactly_ like me. He’ll come crawling back to me someday. Just like he always did. Do you really think he would prefer you over me?” She looked genuinely skeptical.

“He already has.” Brienne could feel her resolve withering as Cersei’s words assaulted her.

“You’re just someone to warm his bed. A temporary fix, while he gets over this…_phase_, he’s going through. He’ll get tired of your big ugly face and your mannish body. I mean, how long can someone fantasize about someone else during sex? Don’t you think that while he’s staring at your ghastly visage, he’s picturing me? That he’s working hard not to say _my _name as he fucks you?” 

Cersei’s words hit a chord, and rang true, somewhere deep down where Brienne’s worst insecurities resided. Brienne’s eyes were stinging, and her tears were threatening to betray her, but she _would not cry_ in front of this vicious bitch.

“He’ll come slinking back.” Cersei fluffed out her hair.

“We’ll just have to see won’t we?”

“I always win. Always.” Her words were so confident that Brienne felt herself believing them.

Brienne brushed past her, and walked quickly out of the bathroom, as she felt the tears starting to fall.

“There you are, Legs. I was beginning to worry that you had left without m…”He stopped short when he saw Brienne wiping tears off of her face. “Brienne, why are you crying? What happened?”

Brienne shook her head and crossed her arms.

“Talk to me. What is it?”

Just then, Cersei walked out of the bathroom and realization dawned on Jaime’s face. He grabbed Cersei’s arm. “What did you do? What did you say to her?”

“The truth. I told her that you would come back to your senses and resume what we had.”

Jaime shook her arm. “What _we_ had? What the fuck was _that_? Incest and abuse? Lies and manipulation? Shame and secrecy?”

“Oh Jaime, you can lie to that ugly cow all you want, but I know you would never choose someone like her, over someone like me.” She said as she pulled her arm free.

“Someone like you? You mean a cold, conniving, selfish, bitch? Of course I choose her. I love her. I LOVE HER! And I won’t let you hurt her. You hear me, you fucking, delusional, bitch? STAY AWAY FROM HER! STAY AWAY FROM HER OR SO HELP ME GODS…”

Brienne looked around to see that people were staring. Tywin Lannister saw the commotion from the other side of the hall and swiftly, but quietly, made his way towards them. 

“What is the meaning of this? Jaime, you will stop shouting this instant. You are embarrassing me in front of my guests.” Tywin looked at Brienne and saw that she was crying. He looked from Brienne, to Jaime, to Cersei and began to calculate the meaning of their interactions in his head.

“Wouldn’t want to do that. Don’t worry, father. We’re leaving.” Jaime put his arm around Brienne’s shoulders and steered her out towards the coat check.

* * *

The whole car ride back to Jaime’s apartment was tense and quiet. Jaime kept trying to hold Brienne’s hand but she kept pulling it away. He was glancing over at her nervously.

Once they got into the apartment the tense silence between them erupted. “Brienne, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about my father. I’m sorry about Cersei. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from her. I didn’t know she was in there with you.”

“It’s not your fault, Jaime”, Brienne said as she unpinned her hair and took off her shoes.

“What did she say to you?” He came up behind her and traced a line down her back, from the nape of her neck, to her tailbone.

“The truth. That I’m ugly and she’s beautiful. That someday you’ll get tired of me and go back to her.”

Jaime spun her around. “Have you looked into her eyes Brienne? She’s ugly. I think she’s hideous. _You’re_ beautiful. Can’t you tell how much I want you? How much I love you?”

“You have to say those things _because _you l…”

“That’s right. Because I love you. I love you so much. All I ever think about is you.”

Brienne felt the tears threatening her again. “She said you think of her while you fuck me.”

“WHAT? Don’t tell me you fucking believe that shit? Why the fuck would I think of that bitch when I have you?” Brienne looked down.

He lifted her chin with the crook of his finger. “Brienne, I haven’t been able to tear my eyes away from you all night in this dress. This dress is driving me crazy. I can’t wait to get you out of it. How many times a day do I have to make love to you, for you to believe me when I say that I desire you, and only you? I will be happy to make it up to you if I have been remiss. In fact, I’m starting now. Right now, because I just can’t wait another moment to peel this glorious gown off of you.”

Jaime loosened the bow around her neck and let the fabric fall. He cupped her breasts and put one in his mouth. “Perfect”, he said as he swirled the nipple with his tongue. Then his hands roamed down her back and found the zipper just above her tailbone. He unzipped her slowly, and when the dress pooled at her feet, he grabbed her ass and kneaded it, pulling her into him. “Gorgeous.” He backed her into the bed and pushed her down onto it, lifting her hips and legs up, so he could pull down her white lacey underwear, and caress her legs. “Beautiful.” Then, he crawled over her, and captured her mouth with his. He pulled away and stared into her eyes. “So, beautiful.”

He took his time making love to her that night, and every word he whispered felt like a blessing, like an incantation, like a spell of love he was wielding over her in order to heal those places that had long ago been broken.

As they lay in each other’s arms that night, Brienne felt more loved, and beautiful, than she ever thought she could.

“I love you, Jaime”, she whispered into his ear as he drifted off to sleep.

“I love _you_, Brienne”, he whispered back, and the spell was complete. She was transformed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, is it normal to be so in love with my own characters? Like, writing this specific iteration of JB is killing me, but in the best possible way. ❤️🥰


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't help myself! Let me know what you guys think.

It was snowing heavily outside. Big, fluffy, pillow-like clusters of snow were blowing around wildly and forming fairly deep drifts along the sides of the buildings. Brienne was engrossed in typing her paper, tying together the psychological and thematic similarities between “Heart of Darkness”, “Lord of the Flies”, and “Crime and Punishment”, when she heard Jaime groan and thump his head dramatically on the dining room table, right next to her. 

“You ok over there?” she said with a raised brow.

“I just don’t know, Legs. I’ve been pouring over all of these MBA program guide books and I just can’t seem to find a single speck of motivation to apply to any one of them.” He was raking his hand through his now chin-length hair and scratching at the two weeks’ worth of stubble on his face. Brienne longed to run her hands through his hair and beard to soothe him, but she knew that could definitely lead to other things, and totally derail their efforts to be productive today.

“Jaime, that’s because you have no interest in Business Administration. If you did, it wouldn’t be so hard. I was very excited to send my applications into all those English Literature Doctoral programs because there is nothing else I would rather do. You just have to find something _you_ enjoy.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about that too. The possibilities seem daunting though. I’d either have to defer graduating this year, in order to change my major, or graduate, and hope to find a job that I can make work under this degree. I’ve spoken with my father about this and he insists I should graduate on time, attend graduate school, and THEN, look for a job that fits my preferences. But that seems ass backwards to me, and like a sneaky way for him to get me to eventually agree to work in one of his many super-boring offices. I just don’t know what I want to do. That’s the _real _problem. There’s nothing that interests me because there’s nothing I’m really good at doing anymore.”

The look in his eyes was breaking her heart. “That’s not true.”

“Well, I am REALLY good at one thing, but I am pretty sure it’s illegal to make a career out of that. Unless, you want to start paying me under the table.” Jaime was smiling wickedly at her.

“Why would I pay you, when you offer it up to me so freely?” Brienne batted her eyes and gave him her biggest smile.

“Damn. You got me there.” He leaned in to kiss her. He was sneaking his hands under her sweater when she put her hand on his chest.

“I’m serious, Jaime. You are so smart, caring, charming, and hardworking. You could easily accomplish anything you set your mind to do.”

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

Brienne nodded as she ran her fingers through his silky hair. “One thousand percent.”

“I’ve never had anyone have as much faith in me as you do.” His expression radiated warmth.

“That’s because I see you, the real you, not what others have projected onto you.” She ran her fingers lazily through his beard and he shuddered.

Jaime gently grabbed her hand and brought her wrist to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on the inner part, right above her tattoo. He trailed his lips up her palm, to her thumb, and sucked it into his mouth. Then, with his tongue, he began to lap at the juncture between her thumb and index finger in slow circles that she felt deep in her lower belly.

Brienne’s breath hitched and she mumbled, “My paper…” as she took her thumb out of his mouth.

Jaime leaned over and pressed “save” on her laptop before shutting it. Then, he stood up and pushed it to the far side of the table.

He leaned down and lifted her face with his hands to kiss her. His tongue was warm and coaxed her lips open, before gliding smoothly and gently over hers.

Brienne instinctively placed her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. His tongue kept caressing hers, as his arms drifted down to encircle her chest. He squeezed her tight and lifted her up, off of the chair. Brienne gasped, and he moaned, as she wrapped her legs around his waist. 

His strong arms held her tight as his hands slipped down to cup her ass and hoist her up higher. Then, he turned around and sat her on the table. Brienne was still holding onto his neck with her forehead pressed against his.

Jaime snaked his hands up from her ass, to her lower back, and under her sweater. “No bra today? Hmmmm….love that...” His fingers were sending currents of electricity down her torso. He rucked up her sweater and disentangled himself from her arms so he could lean his head down and put her breast into his mouth. His tongue kneaded her nipple, and swirled around it, before sucking on it hard.

“Oh gods…” Brienne’s legs tightened their grip around his waist and she pulled his groin into her center.

“You know what else I like? I like these little shorts of yours…very much….” Jaime pulled away so he could bring his hands down and run them along her inner thighs. “No underwear either, huh?”

She heard a rumble forming deep in his chest as his finger ran along the seam of her cunt. “Already so wet…”

Brienne squeezed his shoulders tight with the tips of her fingers. When he plunged his finger into her, she pressed down harder on his shoulder blades. Jaime pulled his finger out to, grab the strip of cloth between her legs, and slide it up and down over her clit. She moaned her pleasure at this new sensation of intense concentrated friction on her most sensitive spot.

“You know, Legs, it’s pretty cold in here. I think we’ll just keep these clothes on.” He kneeled down and parted her knees with his shoulders. He pulled the strip of cloth away with one hand and pulled her hips closer to his mouth with the other. Brienne was writhing with anticipation as he licked the juncture between her inner thigh and pelvis, making tight little swirls with his tongue while tipping her pelvis up, until he got to the area where her ass met her outer folds. He followed the outline of her folds all the way up and into her opening.

Brienne screamed and held onto his head, unable to keep herself from pushing it in further, as he assaulted her with this entirely new erotic exploration of her body.

Jaime lapped at her opening and swirled his tongue around it. Then, he licked his way up to her clit. He massaged it with long lazy licks until she felt herself melting onto the table.

“Jaime, please…”

“You want something?” he asked her with a ravenous grin.

“I need you inside me. Fuck me, please.”

Jaime stood up and pulled his sweatpants down around his ankles. Then, he took her fast and hard on the table as she screamed his name.

Brienne was splayed out on the table with her legs wrapped around his waist, fully clothed, and covered in sweat. Jaime pulled up his sweatpants before, lifting her up by the arms, and placing her back in her chair with a sweet kiss on the lips.

He dragged her laptop back towards her and opened it. “I think I am going to defer for at least another year. Figure my shit out. I’ll call my dad later today and let him know my final decision. Thanks for the inspiration, Legs.”

Brienne was still trying to process what had happened, and form coherent sentences, when he leaned in to kiss her again. Then, the shameless bastard winked.

“Sir, you can’t just sex me up like that while I’m in the middle of writing a paper. I’ve totally lost my train of thought.”

“Sorry, not sorry. It’s your own fault. You are just too sweet to me.”

“So I should be a bitch to you?”

“Hmmmm….angry sex is good too.”

“I think you have a problem!” She poked him in the chest.

“I think we both do. Wanna join my support group?”

“I think that would defeat the purpose.” She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at him.

“Damn. You got me there, again. Thank goodness I have you to bounce these ideas off of. Now, chop chop. You have a paper to write.” He clapped his hands and pushed the laptop towards her once more.

Brienne rolled up a piece of scrap paper and threw it at his head.

* * *

Later that night, Jaime spoke to his father, as he had told her he would. She could hear the discussion devolving into shouting, before Jaime hung up, and went to take a shower to cool off.

Therefore, Brienne was not surprised when she received the following message from Tywin Lannister the next day:

“Dear Ms. Tarth. Please be so kind as to call me back at your earliest convenience. I would like to set up a meeting with you to discuss something very important to both of us. I would greatly appreciate it if you kept this conversation between just the two of us. Jaime and I are in disagreement at the moment, and I would like to have the opportunity to talk to you, without his intervention in the matter. I do hope to hear from you soon. Good day.”

_SHIT!_


	15. Chapter 15

After much deliberation, Brienne had decided to call Tywin and set up the meeting without telling Jaime about it. She wanted to hear what Tywin had to say first. Then, she would decide whether or not she should divulge the contents of their conversation. Brienne knew that if she told Jaime about the meeting, he would confront Tywin, and it would probably never take place. It had always been her opinion that it was best to know what someone was thinking and planning, rather than be blindsided by them later on. Brienne was sure that she was not going to like anything Tywin Lannister had to say to her but perhaps, they could come to some sort of understanding, for Jaime’s sake.

Brienne shrugged out of her nicest winter coat and straightened out the pair of black slacks she had purchased specifically for the occasion. She tugged down on the hem of her best blue button-down shirt and pressed the elevator button for the executive suite offices located on the top floor of the Lannister Corp. headquarters. Brienne’s stomach was tied in knots and she couldn’t take a deep enough breath to quell the anxiety that was threatening to overwhelm her.

The elevators opened up to a huge room with black marbled floors and rich dark-red walls that had the Lannister Corp golden lion sigil emblazoned over a large black marbled reception desk. Brienne gave the receptionist her name and was told to sit down while Mr. Lannister was made aware of her arrival. The room was too dark, it felt more like a den than a business suite.

_It’s a lion’s den. _

She hadn’t been waiting more than five minutes, before she was instructed to meet Mr. Lannister in his office at the end of the hall.

_He’s punctual, of course._

Brienne took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Please do come in, Ms. Tarth.”

Brienne stepped into an office with plush red carpeting, two glass walls, and a very large burnt-red mahogany desk with golden scrollwork inlaid on the sides. Tywin Lannister sat in a large leather chair that looked like a throne. His expression was pinched but not entirely unfriendly. He extended his hand out to the leather seat directly in front of him. “Do sit down.”

Brienne clutched her coat tightly in her hands to keep them from shaking as she sat down. “Good morning, Mr. Lannister.”

He nodded his head. “And to you, Ms. Tarth. I trust that the roads were not too hazardous this morning.”

“No. They were salted early.”

“Good to hear it. Would you care for some refreshment? Coffee? Tea? Water?”

“No thank you.”

“Very well. I don’t wish to waste your time, or mine, so I will get directly to the point. I understand that your relationship with Jaime has become quite serious, correct?” He was staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“We love each other, yes.”

“And what are your intentions towards my son, Ms. Tarth?” Tywin carefully and deliberately folded his hands on the desk in front of him.

“How do you mean?” Brienne did not like where this was going. The knots in her stomach tightened into a lead ball.

“I mean to know, speaking very plainly, what you hope to get out of the relationship?”

“Well, what anyone hopes to get out of a relationship, love and companionship?”

“Companionship for how long, Ms. Tarth?” His voice was becoming very cold and cutting.

“Forgive me, Mr. Lannister, but I don’t understand what you’re driving at here.” Brienne felt herself getting irritable. He was toying with her like a cat with a mouse, except she was no mouse.

“Do you intend to marry my son?”

Brienne’s breath caught in her throat but the anger bubbling up inside of her made her brave. “Considering the fact that he hasn’t asked me to marry him, I can’t really answer that question. But I don’t see how that is any of your concern either way.” Her tone was clipped and her voice was stern.

He practically spat at her, “Not my concern? On the contrary madam, it is of utmost importance for me to know whom my son and heir will be marrying, and to ensure that he is making a suitable match. From our previous conversation, and based on some of my research, I am to understand that your financial situation is precarious, at best. It is no secret that my son stands to inherit a vast fortune.”

“Sir, are you implying that were I to marry your son, I would be doing it for money?”

“You’d be a fool not to take that into account when making your decision.” Tywin said this as if it were a law etched in stone.

“Again, he has made no such proposal, but if he had, his money would be the last thing that I would consider relevant in making my decision.”

“Then, if I were to offer you a substantial sum of money to leave him, you would decline it?” He pulled out a checkbook and pen. “Name your price, Ms. Tarth, and I will accommodate you, within reason of course.”

Brienne had never felt more affronted in her life. “What? You don’t know me at all if you think you can buy me. I love your son and he loves me. It’s a fact that you will have to learn to live with, whether you like it or not. I may not be suitable enough for him, according to you, and probably the rest of the world, but I will stay with him as long as he will have me.” Brienne was seething with barely contained rage at this man’s impudence.

“I see. Then it is as bad as I feared. Ms. Tarth, if this were simply a matter of monetary interest on your part, it would be less concerning to me. I am not worried that you, or any woman, has the power to deplete our resources. No, the threat you pose is much greater. You seek to topple my empire.” His voice commanded the room. “Jaime is my heir. He stands to inherit not only my fortune but a business that my family has been building for well over a century. As my heir, Jaime must take his rightful place as head of this corporation someday. I have been grooming, and carefully guiding him, towards this eventuality since he was a young boy, just as my father did me. It is of paramount importance that he graduate and get his MBA, so that he can begin learning the trade from me, hands on, before I pass. And yet you, Ms. Tarth, have somehow convinced him that he needs to rethink this plan and go in a different direction. I cannot have that. I will not stand for it.” He was sneering at her with cold disdain.

“So, what would you have me do? Stand by and watch him be miserable for the rest of his life with the weight of an empire _you_ built crushing his spirit every day, a bit at a time, until there’s nothing of the Jaime I love left?” Her voice cracked a little and she steadied herself lest this man see her weakness.

“No. I would have you walk away. Take the money and use it to build your own career. Find someone else to love and marry.” His tone softened as he came as close to pleading as this man ever could.

“Can’t you have someone else run the business? What about Tyrion and Cersei?”

“No one else is suitable. It has to be Jaime.” Tywin spoke with unmistakable and unshakable finality.

“Jaime isn’t suitable either. He doesn’t want it. Surely, someone who has a passion for the business would be more suitable.” Brienne looked into his cold eyes trying to appeal to his sense of reason.

“Jaime is suitable because he must be. He must rise to the occasion, just like I did when my time came.”

“But he’s nothing like you.”

“That may be true but the fact remains that he has a duty to perform for his family and that comes first, above everything else. Walk away Ms. Tarth. Take the money.”

“I will not.” Brienne crossed her arms defiantly.

“Well then, you leave me no other choice. I will have to cut him off financially until you agree to my terms.” Tywin put the checkbook away, and looked at her placidly, as if he were talking about the weather and not his son’s future welfare.

“What do you mean cut him off?” Her hands were shaking so hard she had to sit on them.

“If you remain in his life, I will be forced to cut off all of his funding. He will no longer have access to money for school, rent, food, or anything else he might require. You see, Ms. Tarth, I have come to realize that you are the poison in my well. As long as you are by his side, he feels like he can defy me. Once you are removed from the picture, he will have no choice but to listen to my council and obey my wishes, just as he has always done, just as a good son is obliged to do. Ever since you arrived in his life, he has rejected and neglected his family obligations. You are the biggest threat to my family and to the Lannister legacy. So, if you do not walk away, I will be forced to bend him to my will. How long do you think he will last without having access to all of the money he has always had the privilege to enjoy? He’s never worked a day in his life. He has no concept of what it means to struggle. Do you think he will thank you for rendering him penniless, or do you think he will come to resent you for crushing his dreams, and contributing to the acute suffering that poverty often brings? Do you think he will thank you for being disowned by his father? Do you think he will still love you when he has no food to eat or roof over his head to keep him warm?”

Brienne felt the tears forming. “He won’t starve. I haven’t starved.”

“He’s not like you Ms. Tarth. In many ways he’s still a boy, a boy who doesn’t yet know how cruel life can be. He’s known loss but he hasn’t known what it really means to struggle. Do you want to be the reason he has to find out?”

Her voice was low and wavering. “I can help him. We can help each other.”

Tywin’s uncharacteristic laugh startled her. It was rough and mirthless. “He’s twenty-one years old. You are both very young. How many couples your age make it to the finish line? How many couples your age burdened by financial responsibilities and lack of family support can possibly make it? Deep down you know I am right Ms. Tarth.”

He stared at her a beat before his face softened, as much as a face like his is capable of softening. “My son is lost right now. He doesn’t know what he wants and he needs a steady hand to guide him when he figures it all out. I will always be his father. I will always be here for him. He will always need me. You, on the other hand, are just a girl he met during a time in his life where he needed someone to cling onto. You are just convenient, until you’re not. Don’t ruin his possibilities at building a great career for himself. Don’t throw away everything _you’ve_ worked for on a relationship that is doomed to fail.”

Brienne felt her chest tighten uncomfortably. Ultimately, it was her own self-doubt that made his message strike a chord. How long would Jaime realistically want to be with her? Surely, he would grow to resent her if he knew she was the reason his father disowned him and doomed him to a life of near poverty when he could have had a comfortable and affluent one. “I don’t want the money. I will never take your money. But I love Jaime and I don’t want to hurt him in any way. I will take what you said into consideration and let you know my decision soon.”

Seeing his opportunity to pounce he said, “I am afraid that is not good enough. I need your word that you will end this relationship as soon as possible. My banker stands at the ready to freeze all of Jaime’s bank accounts, and my assistant will cancel his credit cards, at a moment’s notice. I don’t have time to play games. What say you Ms. Tarth?”

Brienne’s hands were still shaking and her stomach turned violently in fear. “Don’t do it. I will talk to Jaime. I will tell him that I need space to focus on my studies. That he needs time to figure out what he wants in life.”

“Very well. Wise decision Ms. Tarth. This is truly the best thing for both of you. It was never going to last. This way, you won’t waste years of your life struggling, and mired in a situation that will only hold you back from your true path in life. My son doesn’t know it yet, but you just saved him from himself.” Tywin stood up and gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “If you ever require anything, a good word, a job, or financial assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me. Good day to you.”

He opened the door for her and she stared at it for a moment, still in shock about the implications of what she had just done.

_What did I just do?_ Then, Tywin Lannister’s words rang in her head. _You saved him from himself. _

Brienne got up on shaking legs and somehow glided out of the office, into the elevator, and out of the building, in a fog. She stood outside staring aimlessly at the sidewalk. Her feet carried her she knew not where.

_Jaime. Oh, Jaime. _

Her stomach turned violently again, and she felt bile rise up out of her throat, as she threw up in some bushes on the side of the road. The tears that had been lodged in her chest blinded her now. She was vaguely aware that those dying animal sounds were coming from her own mouth. Her chest was constricted so tight she was sure that her heart would stop beating at any moment. Her legs began to shake so violently that she had to sit down on the nearest snow covered bench. People passing by stopped to stare at her with pity in their eyes.

_I am pitiful. He’s going to hate me. But I have to protect him. _

Brienne didn’t know how long she sat on that bench and cried.

Somehow, covered in snow and grief, she made it back to her dorm.

Brienne locked herself in her room and took off all of her wet clothes. She buried herself under the covers and closed her eyes.

* * *

She woke up, in darkness, when her phone vibrated violently on her nightstand. She glanced over to see that she had fifteen missed text messages and ten missed phone calls from Jaime. He had left her several voice messages, one more frantic than the next.

“Where are you, Legs?”, “Brienne, I’m worried about you. Please call me”, “Brienne, just call me to let me know that you are alright. Did you lose your phone somewhere? This is not like you.”, “Please, call me. I am freaking out here.”

Just as she was listening to the last message her phone rang again. It was Jaime. The time was 12:45 a.m. Brienne steadied her nerves and took a deep breath.

“Hey, Jaime. Sorry I missed your calls….I didn’t notice you had called because I was at an important meeting today….Yeah, sorry, didn’t want to worry you about it….Yeah, I took a nap when I got back from my meeting and must have overslept. Sorry again to have worried you….No, I’m fine, really. See you tomorrow for breakfast at the diner….Yeah, we have a lot to talk about. Goodnight….Love you too.” Brienne hung up the phone quickly as she felt the tears threatening her again.

She buried her head in her pillow and prayed to the gods that tomorrow would somehow never come. But if it did, she knew what she had to do.

_Nothing is more hateful than failing to protect the one you love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💔


	16. Chapter 16

Jaime’s nervous excitement from the night before had left him feeling very fidgety and he kept shifting around in his seat. He had been approximately one phone call away from going to Brienne’s dorm, and if necessary, scouring the streets looking for her. The only other time he had felt that panic-stricken was directly after the accident that had crushed his right wrist. Both times, he had felt extreme helplessness, which was the worst emotion for him. Being on the impulsive and slightly hyperactive side, he had always preferred to take action, whenever possible. That’s why he needed to see her now. He needed to touch her face, hold her hand, kiss her lips, take her into his arms, and make a complete mental inventory to properly ascertain that she was indeed, safe and whole.

Even though he had spoken to Brienne over the phone, and she had assured him that she was ok, her tone had been off. She had sounded distant and distracted. Jaime just wanted to look into her eyes and make sure that she was alright. Her lips could lie to him but her eyes never would.

Jaime looked down at his menu, and when he looked back up, there she stood.

“Hey, Legs.”

“Hey.”

Jaime got up and pulled her into his arms. “I was so worried about you.” He buried his nose in her hair. Her arms wrapped around him tight.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked.

“Hey, it’s ok. Just don’t ever do that to me again. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”

He heard her breath hitch before she sat down.

“You sure you’re ok?” He sat across from her.

Brienne nodded her head but wouldn’t look into his eyes. She busied herself by looking intently at her menu.

“So, what was the meeting about?”

“Just future planning and stuff like that” she said, still perusing the menu.

“Like with the guidance counselor?”

“Something like that. I’m not feeling very hungry but I’ll probably get the fruit plate and a coffee.” She looked up at him and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“What did the counselor have to say? Did they have any good tips?”

“No.” Tapping her fingers nervously on the table Brienne looked down.

“Okkkk….You’re being quieter than usual this morning. You sure nothing is wrong?” For some reason, he was getting nervous about the fact that she was not looking at him directly. She seemed jittery and uneasy.

“Yeah.” Her voice cracked a little.

_There’s definitely something wrong._

“Brienne, you’re acting weird. Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m just tired. Have a lot on my mind lately.” She put her thumb up to her mouth and was biting the cuticle, just like she always did when she was upset about something.

“Like what?” His right wrist started to ache as he tensed up.

“Jaime…” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“Brienne, what is it? What’s wrong?” He grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles.

_Why does she look scared? _“It’s ok. Just tell me.”

“Jaime, I think I need some space.” The tears in her eyes pooled and one slipped slowly down her cheek.

His heart skipped a beat. His throat tightened.

“What?” his voice got strangled on the word.

“I think…I think I need space because…this is a lot…and I need to focus on my studies.”

Her hand was shaking under his. He grabbed it tight to anchor himself. His heartbeat was thrumming loudly in his ears.

“Space…”

“Yeah.”

“How much space?”

“I think it would be good if…we …didn’t see each other ….at least for a while.” Tears were streaming down her face and plopping onto the table.

“Brienne…” He couldn’t form words.

_Not see each other for a while. Space. She wants space, from me._

The lump in his throat was choking him and his eyes burned. “Why? Did I…did I do something?”

“No, it’s not that. Nothing you did.” She swallowed hard. “I think this would be the best thing…for both of us. You need time to figure out what you want.”

“I know what I want. I want you.” His chest was aching.

“Jaime…”

“Brienne, please, don’t do this. I don’t understand why you’re doing this.” He couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, Jaime. Please don’t cry.” She was wiping away her own tears.

“I’m not. _You’re_ crying. Why are _you_ crying, Brienne? Are you breaking up with me? Do you want to break up with me?” His voice was hoarse.

_Shit, I AM crying._

“I don’t think this is good for you” she said as she glanced at their entwined hands.

“What the hell are you talking about? I love you. You are the one good thing, the _only_ good thing, in my life. I need you. I want to be with you, always. Do you want to be with me?”

She took her hand out of his and looked away as the tears continued to fall.

“Don’t look away from me.” He leaned over and gently tugged on her chin to turn her face toward him. Jaime gazed deep into her eyes. “Do you want to be with me?”

“I can’t.” She blinked nervously. 

_She’s hiding something. _

“What do you mean you can’t? That’s not what I asked you. I asked you if you want to be with me.”

“Jaime, please…” She was trying to tug her face away from him.

_Why won’t you answer the question?_

“Just answer the question, Brienne. Yes or no. Do you want to be with me?”

“I…no.” She tried to avert her eyes.

_She’s lying._

“Brienne, why are you lying to me?”

“What do you mean? I’m not…” She was looking down and away from him again.

“Yes, you are. I know you. You can’t lie. I can always see the truth in your eyes. You are lying to me and I want to know why. What’s going on? What is this? What happened yesterday?”

“I have to go.”

“Brienne, something happened yesterday and I am going to find out what it was. I don’t know what’s really going on, but whatever it is, we can figure it out. I let you almost get away once, and I’m _not_ going to do it again. You mean too much to me.”

“I need time to think. I just need space…” She was getting up and putting on her coat.

“Ok. You can have space. I’ll give you space. But this is not over.” She took a few steps and he grabbed onto her forearm.

“I love you. Do you love me?”

“Jaime…”

He stood up and peered into her eyes. “Do you _love me_?”

“Yes.”

“Then, that’s all I need to know.”

Jaime leaned in and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Then, swiftly, she walked out of the diner and didn’t look back.

Jaime sat back down and took a deep breath. _ Shit! What the fuck is going on?_

Looking down at his phone, he saw that he had several missed calls and one text, from Tyrion.

**Tyrion: Hey bro. Please call me back pronto. I have something urgent I have to tell you. **

Jaime sighed and speed dialed his number. “Hey Tyrion, what’s up? Is this about those transactions I had your guy make?”

“His name’s Varys. Not really. He did make the transactions but that’s not why I’m calling.”

“Ok. So what then?”

“Well, you know how Varys has been keeping tabs on the old lion for us, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Varys tells me that Brienne was at Lannister Corp. headquarters yesterday morning to meet with father. Apparently, she looked upset when she left his office.”

“What? Why would Brienne meet with father?”

“I have no idea but it can’t be anything good.”

He thought about the conversation that he had just had with Brienne and her strange disappearing act the day before. Then, all the pieces came together.

“That old conniving cunt! I gotta go talk to Brienne. Thanks for the intel bro.”

“Anytime, dear brother. Go get your lady. Talk soon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

_What did that old bastard do to you Brienne?_

* * *

As soon as she got back to her dorm room, Brienne jumped in bed, and pulled the covers over her head.

_How am I going to do this? I’m not strong enough to do this. How can I protect him when he’s making it so difficult to walk away?_

Her phone rang. _Oh gods, it’s Jaime. _She let it go to voicemail before listening to the message.

“Hey, Legs. It’s me. I’m downstairs and I’m coming up. Let me in, or so help me gods, I will take the doors off the hinges. I know you went to see my father yesterday and I need to know why. Ok, going up the stairs now.”

She heard him knock on the door. 

Brienne stood on the other side and leaned her head against it, taking deep, shaky breaths.

“Brienne. It’s ok. Let me in.” His voice was laced with emotion.

She pressed her palms to the door.

“I’m not mad at you. Just let me in. He can’t take you from me. I won’t let him.”

Brienne pulled the door open and he stepped forward as she lunged into his arms. “Jaime…Jaime I am so sorry.”

“Shhh….” He was stroking her back as he walked her further into the room.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Her tears were choking her again.

“I know that….of course I know that, you silly woman.”

“I was trying to protect you.” Brienne was shaking violently in his arms.

“Protect me? Protect me how?” He was speaking softly into her ear.

“He threatened to disown you, to cut you off, if I didn’t break up with you.”

“Oh, is that all?”

She stepped back and looked at him. “Jaime, this is serious! How will you pay your rent, or buy food, or pay for school?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You always say that but of course I worry about it. You don’t know what it’s like to always have to worry about it. It’s terrifying to always have to worry about it. Trust me.” She ran her hands through his hair and beard. “I don’t want you to have to struggle because of _me_.”

“I would walk through all seven hells for you.”

His hand grabbed the back of her head and pulled her roughly towards him. He slanted his mouth over hers and his tongue claimed her.

“Mine. You’re mine.“

His arms held her tight. "And I am yours." 


	17. Chapter 17

“Holy fuck! Tell me again why we didn’t get movers?” Sweat was pouring down Jaime’s face and stinging his eyeballs.

“Because we can’t afford to spend the money! Stop being such a baby, and suck it up, it’s only a couple more flights!” Brienne was lifting her end of the sectional and pushing it up towards him, relentlessly.

“Oww..fuck”, he mumbled under his breath, so she couldn’t hear him, but she must have noticed how his side of the couch slumped down sharply for a second, because she put her end down to peer at him over it. She, unfortunately, saw him wince and shake out his hand.

“You ok? Is it your wrist? Put it down. Put it down, now.” She chastised him like a schoolmarm.

“It’s ok, Legs. Let’s just keep going.”

“Don’t be an idiot. You could really hurt yourself. I’ll just push it up to the next landing by myself, so you can stretch it out.”

“Legs that’s not…”

But she was already pushing the enormous couch up the stairs with amazing speed and strength. He had to jump out of the way or risk getting trampled. Brienne pushed it the last few steps and slid it onto the wide landing with ease.

“Gods you’re strong! It’s so damn sexy!”

“Let me see your wrist!” Brienne wrapped her hands around his forearm, tenderly, and turned it towards her.

_How can those hands be so strong and gentle at the same time?_

Her eyes flashed up to his, full of concern, and a touch of fear. “Jaime, it’s swollen. How long has it been swollen like this? Come on, let’s go get some ice on it.”

“I don’t think that’s neces…” but she was already pulling him along, one arm around his waist, the other cradling his hand to her chest.

Brienne didn’t let him go until they had climbed the last flight of stairs and she had deposited him securely in their new eat-in kitchen. Sitting in one of their garage sale, mismatched, chairs and flexing his wrist, he watched her rummage around in the freezer. His favorite aqua-blue, racer-back, tank top was sticking to her sweat drenched back and chest. Her long arms were also covered in sweat, and it glistened on her forearms, in the morning light streaming from their less-than-stellar, alley-view, window.

_Gods, how I love those tiny shorts! _

The rivulets of sweat were slowly rolling down her strong thighs, like ebbing and cresting waves. He found that he couldn’t take his eyes off of them, as some of them pooled behind her knees, and the ones that escaped, raced down her impressively toned calves.

Brienne packed the ice into some folded paper towels and applied it carefully to his wrist.

“Jaime, I’m so sorry. We should have hired those movers. You were right. The money you managed to take out of your trust is more than enough to cover such things. It’s just that, I hate to spend it, in case we need it for an emergency. I sometimes forget that your wrist is not …” The look in her eyes was killing him.

“As much as I _hate_ to interrupt this ‘you were right’ monologue, my sense of justice dictates”, he placed a hand dramatically on his chest, “I inform you that, while the move may have aggravated the swelling, it in no way caused it. It’s been acting up all week, ever since that kid, Kyle, lobbed the football at my head when I wasn’t looking. I felt the damn thing twist as I sprang to catch it. Dumb move on my part really…”

“Maybe it’s not the best idea for you to be working at a football camp. You are a college graduate. You can get something else that won’t hurt your wrist like this.”

“I dunno, I mean, the kids _are_ annoying for sure, but…that one kid, Kyle, he’s super intense, and hyper as fuck, but he kind of reminds me of when I was that age, all excitable and just a ball of energy and totally oblivious to anything around him sometimes..”

She smirked at him and gave him a withering look. “Yes, because you’ve changed sooo much.”

“And there’s this kid, Aaron, he’s _different, _you know? So, the other kids kind of exclude him, but he never gives up, just dusts himself off, and keeps on going. I’ve come up with some new ways he can use the equipment, so he has a better chance of completing the tasks, and get the reward points. I mean, it’s not fair that because he’s differently abled, he won’t ever have enough points to get the trophy. He works three times as hard as all those other kids. He deserves a chance! You should have seen last week when I told him I had a disability too and showed him my scars…”

“Oh my gods, look at your face! You actually like working there, don’t you? Jaime, you’re so good at this! I am so proud of you!” The smile on her face was resplendent.

Jaime felt his face burning. “I don’t know, assistant coach at a football camp is not very glamorous, but maybe I can do more. Maybe, I can use some of my money and put it to good use. I was thinking that it would be really cool to have an integrated football camp, where differently abled kids have a chance to play football too. With the right equipment, and trained staff, there is no reason that we couldn’t accommodate almost anyone who wants to participate. Not everyone has to go on to play in the WFL. Just playing the game is rewarding enough. We could have integrated teams play each other, maybe teach the other kids something about humility and compassion…”

Brienne was looking at him so tenderly that he felt his insides melting. “Oh, Jaime…that’s just…such a wonderful idea…”

“Put those eyes away, Legs. I haven’t _done_ anything yet. It’s _just_ an idea. There’s nothing that says I won’t fuck it up, somehow.” He ran his hands through his freshly cut hair, rubbing the shaved part around his ears, absently.

“But you won’t. I already told you, _you_ can do _anything _you set your sights on. You carried a couch up three flights of stairs on an excruciatingly inflamed wrist, like a stubborn fool, after all. You really do need to wrap that wrist up properly though, every day before work, and ice it in the evenings, maybe take an anti-inflammatory…”

He leaned in and kissed her. “Hmmm…salty. It really is fucking hot in here. I think you need to cool off.” 

Unwrapping the paper-towels from around his wrist, he took out an ice cube, and ran it up her arm. She shivered when he approached the crux of her elbow. “Jaime, we still have stuff in the truck, and the couch…”

“Fuck the couch.” Grabbing both of her hips, he guided them back, until she was sitting on the table. He dragged the ice cube slowly up her thighs before placing it in his mouth. Pushing her further back onto the table, he lifted her tank top, and dipped into her belly button, so the ice melted and dripped down her deliciously taut abs.

“What is it with you and tables?” Her voice was husky.

“Margaery’s theory was correct. You taste good and just looking at you makes me hungry.” He sucked the water off of her warm skin.

“Speaking of Margaery, I invited her.”

Jaime groaned.

“She’s bringing her girlfriend.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Well thank the seven for small favors. At least she will be distracted enough, that she won’t be ogling you in your bathing suit, alllll day.”

“Tell me again why you want a pool party?” She sighed exasperatedly.

“Because it’s _my _birthday party and _I _want to ogle you _all_ day in your bathing suit. Plus, the one good thing about this dump is the community pool.” He pulled her tank top up so he could glide what remained of the ice further up her stomach.

“We could have had free storage at the other place but noooo, you wanted the pool ahhh..” She squeaked.

Flashing his most wicked grin, he put the last of the ice in her sports bra. “I need more ice.”

* * *

The recreation room was small but adequate for the occasion. Brienne made sure to set the table, fill the cooler, arrange and rearrange the plates and cutlery, and stored the ice cream cake in the freezer for later, while Jaime greeted and schmoozed with their guests in the pool deck area. She had been the one to suggest a small dinner party to celebrate his birthday, but Jaime had insisted on making it a pool party, because “dinner parties are boring”. Now here she was, in a black bathing suit that was way too small, and was riding way too high up on the sides, which she had to keep readjusting every five minutes. Finding a bathing suit for her frame, that wasn’t custom made, or way out of her price range, was exceedingly difficult, and this was really as good as it was going to get.

_Maybe I’ll just keep my shorts on._

Brienne peeked through the sliding glass doors to watch as Jaime and Addam splashed each other in the pool. Tyrion was being pushed around the perimeter in an inflatable raft by a young brunette Jaime had told her was “the new flavor of the month”. Margaery was making a show of lathering her redheaded girlfriend up with suntan lotion, much to the redhead’s embarrassment. Sansa Stark seemed very sweet but she was definitely out of her depths. Although, Margaery did appear to be on her best behavior, so perhaps she was a steadying influence, like a companion pony for a wild stallion. They certainly made a striking couple, and seemed to be turning more than one head at the moment, much to Margaery’s satisfaction.

Brienne readjusted her suit for the hundredth time that afternoon, just in time for Margaery to look up, and result in her waving enthusiastically for Brienne to come out.

_Damn. Guess I can’t hide in here forever._

“Brienne, we’ve all been wondering when you would come out and join us. My brother Loras just texted that he and his boyfriend, Renly, are running a little late but they should be here in a few minutes. Is that everyone?”

“Gods, I hope so. Unless you invited more people and forgot to tell me.” Brienne crossed her arms and gave her a warning look.

“Nope, that’s it. Thanks for letting me invite Sansa and Loras. I talk so much about you and they were dying to meet you. Right, Sansa?”

The redhead nodded her head and gave her a big smile. “Oh yes! I would be jealous if Margaery hadn’t gone on and on about how you kept rejecting her all year. Thanks for that, by the way! Margaery is _obsessed _with you. She basically thinks you are the best human being in all of Westeros, which means, that I am sure that I will too. Marge is an excellent judge of character.”

Brienne was sure she was turning the color of a ripe tomato.

“That’s because she is the best person in all of Westeros!” Jaime slid his cold, wet, arm around her waist. “She is so good, that she let me convince her to throw this party, and wear this teeny tiny bathing suit.”

“It only looks teeny tiny because I am so enormous.” She fought the urge to readjust her bathing suit again.

“If by enormous you mean that your legs go on for about ten miles, then yes, you are enormous, and I want to live the rest of my life crushed beneath you!” Jaime and Margaery shared a knowing look and smirked.

“Jaime! For the love of…”

He winked at her and pulled her towards the pool. “Time to go swimming, Legs. Take off those tiny shorts and give the people what they want. I _really _need to make Addam positively green with envy. Think of it as a birthday present.”

“Ugh. Stop pulling on me you brute. Don’t make me drown you on your birthday.” She playfully slapped his hands away so she could remove her shorts.

His eyes lit up in amusement but there was something else there, something dangerous, something carnal that made her promises he fully intended to keep.

In the pool Jaime’s hands lingered too long on her hips, where her bathing suit rode precariously high, and slid down her back often, and found their way to her legs whenever she swam near, until her body called for those promises to be fulfilled.

Jaime whispered hotly in her ear, “When can we send all of these people home?”, as he put his fingertip on her hip, just underneath the hemline of her bathing suit.

“Well, it’s your party, but I am pretty sure it’s common courtesy to feed them and cut the birthday cake first.” She gave him a tight smile before running her hand over the front of his swim trunks, hoisting herself up the ladder, and jumping out of the pool.

The party seemed to be going well. Brienne found herself actually enjoying herself. The ease with which everyone appeared to be getting along was quite amazing to behold. Tyrion was regaling everyone with yet another tale of rich, teenage, private school kids engaging in drunken debauchery, as Margaery poured everyone more drinks, in an effort to keep the party atmosphere going. Loras and Renly were shamelessly flirting with Addam, whom seemed to be taking it all exceedingly well. Sansa was helping Jaime clear the table, and every once in a while, they would look up at Margaery and her, in turn, and giggle together like old friends.

Brienne smiled at the thought that all of these people were her friends. Her heart felt warm and full, which fortunately reminded her, that it was time for the cake. Brienne signaled for Margaery to turn off the lights, as she quickly snuck back into the small kitchen to take the cake out of the freezer. Everyone sang Jaime happy birthday when she came out, and his eyes teared up when he saw the cake, as she knew they would. On the face of the cake it said “Happy Birthday Coach Lannister” and it had a picture of Jaime’s football camp group. She handed him the cards they had made him, which made him tear up in earnest.

“Happy Birthday Jaime!” She whispered into his ear, when he opened up Aaron’s card. It said he was coming back to football camp, in the fall, to train with his favorite coach.

Jaime cleared his throat. “I love you, Legs.”

“I love you too, GQ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is an epilogue because I can't get enough of these two fools in love.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really kind of sad to say goodbye to this story. I've just loved writing it so much. Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope you enjoy this epilogue. 🥰

Brienne stared at her face in the mirror. She didn’t _feel _any different, but surely, she _should_ feel different. She watched as the brush parted her straw colored hair and fell in soft waves over her ears. Her hair hadn’t been this long since she was a young girl. Margaery and Sansa had persuaded her to grow it out for the occasion but she barred them from the over-exuberant makeover that they had planned. Brienne insisted on just styling it so it would rest naturally around her shoulders. Her one accessory had been her mother’s silver crescent moon and sun hair comb. It had gone so nicely with Jaime’s sapphires. She touched her neck remembering how it felt the first time he put them around her neck. Brienne had also chosen her dress. It had been a simple satin A-line gown, with a V-neck, and lacy cap sleeves, which had perfectly matched her veil.

Brienne touched the lace of her nightgown, and let her fingers glide across the pattern, the way Jaime’s had done last night when he saw her wearing it. Maybe she _was_ different now, because this type of dreamy reverie was not something she often indulged in. She couldn’t keep herself from replaying the day over and over in her head. The way the waves had crashed behind them as they said their vows. The way the sand had felt between her toes, and the wind had rustled her veil all around her, as they walked back up the aisle. The way he kept looking at her as if she had hung the stars and the moon up in the sky just for him.

His eyes had glowed so brightly under the twinkling lights of the dance floor. The smile on his face as he held her close still made the butterflies in her stomach dance.

_Jaime. My Jaime. My husband, Jaime._

Sometimes it still didn’t feel real that someone like Jaime could love her, that this could be her life, that he had chosen her and forsaken a life of wealth and power to be by her side. She felt like the luckiest person in the entire world because she got to marry her best friend, a man that happened to be perfect for her in every way.

The rain pattered on the windowsill heavily, but it was not loud enough to drown out the crashing waves outside. Jaime was still fast asleep, wrapped in a cocoon of silk sheets, and apparently undisturbed by the occasional peal of thunder. She watched as his chest rose and fell. His hair was draped around him like a golden halo and his arms were thrown above his head, like a small boy’s.

Brienne padded over on bare feet and laid a kiss on his forehead, before slipping out of the room to make coffee. The kitchen in the cottage was small but adequate. Certainly, the view of the ocean could not be rivaled. Even on a rainy day, Sapphire Beach’s beauty could not be muted. Brienne smiled as she thought about how she and Galladon would chase seagulls on this very beach. 

She startled a little when she felt Jaime’s warm arms encircle her from behind. “Good morning, Dr. Lannister,” he spoke into the shell of her ear, sending a tingle all the way down her spine.

“Good morning, Coach Lannister. Are we always going to be this formal with each other now?”

He kissed the nape of her neck. “Well, we both worked hard for those titles. Doesn’t hurt to use them. Can’t wait until I can call you _professor_ Lannister. Think of all the _scenarios_ we can utilize all of these titles and what unabashed fun we’ll have.”

Jaime rucked up her nightgown and raked his hands over her thighs and stomach. “It’s a rainy day. What _will_ we do with ourselves?” He kissed her shoulder blade and rained kisses down her back.

“Well, I do have a lot of papers to grade and I have to catch up on my reading for my article. I made coffee.” Tapping the spoon on the mug she attempted to hand him a fresh cup.

“I only came out here to bring you back to bed. I got cold in there without you. I do love this nightgown. Who should I thank for it, Margaery or Sansa?” His fingers skimmed the skin just under her breasts making her breath hitch. His hips pushed her into the counter as he ground his erection into her backside.

“Neither. The ladies at work threw me a bridal shower. I think this was from Dr. Herman. She’s about eighty years old.” Her breath caught when he tucked his hand into the matching pair of lacy white underwear.

“Dr. Herman has very good taste, must come from years of experience.”

“Ugh. Please. I don’t want to talk about Dr. Herman’s _experience _EVER, but especially not right now.” His laughter rumbled deep in his chest, which was pressed firmly against her back.

Jaime bent her over the counter a little before pressing his fingers into her folds. “Dr. Lannister, I believe you need to come to bed or I will have to fuck you right here in this kitchen. Your little nighty has worked its spell on me.”

“I should not have bothered to put it back on.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” he mumbled into her neck.

Brienne pushed back into him and ran her hand along his hip. “_You’re_ not gonna wear a stitch of clothing all day are you?”

“Nope.” He put both of his arms tightly around her waist and lifted her up. “And neither are you. That’s it. Back to bed we go, where we belong.”

She squealed as he hoisted her into his arms and over his shoulder.

* * *

The powdery white sand was warm between his toes and the sun felt heavenly on his skin. Waves of crystalline blue water lapped the shore lazily. A pleasantly cool breeze ruffled his hair.

Brienne laid next to him in the shade of the umbrella. She was close enough that he could smell her coconut scented sunscreen and feel the warmth of her body radiate into the sides of his arms and legs. Her two piece bathing suit was the exact color of her eyes and it clung to her in all the right places. Every freckle on her back was on full display. Jaime traced the constellation near her left shoulder as she read through her research articles.

“I think this patch here is my favorite.”

“Hmmm…I thought your favorite patch was on my right thigh.” She looked at him over the top of her sunglasses.

He shrugged. “I’m fickle.”

“Can I record that response for posterity?” The corners of her mouth pulled up in amusement.

“I don’t think it’s worth recording something that is common knowledge. Can I persuade you to leave your fascinating article on…what was it again?”

“Looking at how women’s writing styles evolved over time, especially during and after the sexual revolution.”

“Actually, that does sound fascinating.” He leaned in pretending to read over her shoulder.

“It’s about the writing styles during that period, not about what actually happened therein.” She nudged him back with her shoulder blade.

“Well, in that case.” He stood up and pulled her with him.

Hand-in-hand they ran into the warm water. Jaime dove under a cresting wave and Brienne followed. They emerged on the other side. Brienne hung her arms around his neck and wrapped her long legs around his waist.

He gazed into her eyes that shone, a shade lighter than the clear blue water surrounding them, in the midday sun. Her hair fanned around her shoulders like a silver cape made of moonbeams. Her skin felt heavenly against his, smooth and slippery from the lotion, and deliciously warm.

“Can we stay here forever? I’ll buy you that cottage if you like it.”

“If only. Don’t think we can afford anything on this beach.”

“We might be able to soon.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “How so?”

“Tyrion insists on giving me _my fair share_ of the inheritance after father dies. Apparently, he’s been put on hospice for congestive heart failure.”

“Oh, Jaime. I’m sorry.”

When he failed to respond she tried again. “You should go visit him.” Her eyes were gentle and full of concern for a man that hadn’t even had the common courtesy to pick up the phone and say thank you for all of the Winter Solstice and birthday cards Brienne had sent over the years.

“Should I?” His tone was flat.

“Jaime, he’s your father. You won’t get a chance to see him again and you might regret not speaking with him if you don’t. He’s handed the business to Tyrion. There’s nothing he can demand of you now. Perhaps, you can say your goodbyes, get closure for yourself, and give him some peace of mind too.”

“Brienne, he almost ruined my entire life. I don’t know if I can forgive him for that.” He felt his resentment, like a snake, slithering in his belly.

“I know. I just want you to have the opportunity to say the things that are weighing heavily on your heart, to not be haunted later by regret.” She ran her long fingers through his hair.

“I’ll think about it. He doesn’t deserve your kindness, you know.” He collected a drop of water off of her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

“Kindness doesn’t necessarily have to be earned. It’s not currency. One can choose to give it freely, under any circumstance, to anyone, for any reason.” Brienne smiled at him with that sweet smile that always made his heart melt.

“Gods, I love you.” He leaned in and tasted the salt of the ocean on her lips. He tugged at them until they puckered and opened for him. Her tongue was warm and inviting, just like the rest of her. “You’re going to make such a great mother. I can’t wait for our children to meet you, to see you with them, to raise them together.”

Her eyes teared up. “Jaime, thank you for not letting me push you away, no matter how hard I tried, all those years ago.”

“I was selfish. I wanted you. I didn’t really deserve you, but I swore to myself that I would live the rest of my life trying to make up for it, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

And so he did.


End file.
